The Fact That No One Reads Spy Anyway: 9.6
Alanis Morissette may not understand the meaning of the word “ironic,” but those wags at Spy magazine certainly do.
Among their irony ratings, on a scale of 1 to 10:
O. Henry’s story about a man selling his watch to buy a fancy comb for his wife, who had sold her hair to buy him a watch chain. Score: 8.3.
The Who’s Pete Townshend receiving medical treatment despite having penned the line “Hope I die before I get old.” Score: 8.
Wendy’s burger magnate Dave Thomas having quadruple bypass surgery. Score: 6.7.
Bryan Adams - whose album “Waking Up the Neighbors” went platinum - buying and temporarily shutting down the pub next to his London home because the noise kept him from sleeping. Score: 6.
Susan Lucci not winning an Emmy for 16 years straight. Score: 0.3.
Loose talk
Thomas Calabro (“Melrose Place”), on what would be too ridiculous for the show (on America Online): “Oh, maybe aliens from another planet … infesting the complex … with Albanian dwarfs … who end up ruling Los Angeles. No, no, that wouldn’t be too ridiculous.”
About her music, we can only say: ‘Isn’t it erotic?’
Liz Phair turns 30 today.
The Man of Steel, shattered? That really is ironic
Actor/director Christopher Reeve, fighting to continue his career after being paralyzed in a 1995 horse-riding accident, received his star on Hollywood Boulevard’s Walk of Fame on Tuesday, accompanied by wife Dana and son Will. Said Reeve: “If we keep giving our scientists the funds they need for (medical) research, I will take my family by the hand and I will stand here in front of my star.”
But it certainly sounds like she’s trying to Di
Prince Charles’ longtime lover, the typically publicity-shy Camilla Parker Bowles, has stepped into the spotlight as a patron of Britain’s National Osteoporosis Society, agreeing to help raise money and publicize the bone disorder. A fellow patron brushed off the idea that Bowles is trying to improve her image, saying: “I don’t think she needs to do that. She just wants to do her bit to avoid a horrible disease.”
As long as she didn’t cry for Madonna, it’s OK
The former Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, mooned over the movie “Evita” in her first syndicated newspaper column, calling Argentina “my second home” (her mother lives there) and adding that the opening scene was filmed at “my old bus stop.” Finished Fergie: “When the movie ended, and Madonna stood up, I was teary-eyed. I was crying for Argentina.”
Now they’ve burned their bridges behind them
Two women who worked on the set of “Nash Bridges” have filed sexual harassment lawsuits claiming they were fired from the TV show after rejecting the advances of star Don Johnson. Ironically (sort of), Johnson had sued both women three weeks ago, saying they were trying to extort $1.5 million in exchange for them not filing suit.
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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino