The Voices Of Your Life They Surround Us, Shape Us And Guide Us. They Are The Voices Of Your Neighbor, Your Co-Worker, Your Friend

In the foreign movie “Wings of Desire,” angels listen in on the voices and thoughts of those living in the city. The angry voices. The voices of sadness, despair. The happy voices. The voices of joy, love. These voices join together and rise up into the sky, telling the angels much about the state of the town they are supposed to help protect.

In real life, we are surrounded by voices. Think for a moment to the neighborhood you grew up in. Or the neighborhood you live in now. Think of the voices of the welcoming neighbors - the men or women who always have a kind word, a compliment for the children. Then think of the unwelcoming neighbors. Those neighbors who scowl, dislike children and believe all the other neighbors are involved in conspiracies against them.

Children pick up on these voices more directly than adults. And it tells them much about the world in which they live. And the world they will face as adults.

Over the past six months, whenever I speak to school, community or women’s groups, I ask participants to remember the neighborhoods where they grew up. Or if they are children, I ask them to think of the neighborhoods they live in now. Participants then write two paragraphs. One paragraph is written in the voice of a welcoming neighbor. The other in the voice of an unwelcoming neighbor. The point of the “voice exercise” is this: These neighborhood voices have a lot of power. They can determine the way in which our neighborhoods will go. Will they be pockets of community involvement or pockets of fear and withdrawal?

Any community or neighborhood group can use the voice exercise to examine where they live. Simply ask participants to write about the various voices in the neighborhood. And ask them to write about their own voices. Then examine the messages and the tone of those voices and go from there.

Here are some examples of the voices of neighbors, past and present, written by people who have participated in this voice exercise with me during the past six months. Do any sound like the voices you remember? Like voices you hear now in your neighborhood?

Oh, Carol, how are you doing? You OK? I know you must be hurting a lot. Don’t worry. Even though you’re moving away and you won’t see your dad as often, I’m sure you’ll see him soon. He loves you. I do, too.

What are you doing here? These berries are not yours. When you pick them off these bushes, you are ruining all the bushes around this place. These bushes are not yours, are they? I’ll send my dog after you.

You trick or treaters, go away, scram! My lights are off because I don’t want any of you kids coming to my door to bother me. Go away!

I am so glad you have come to visit me. Did you walk all that way to see me? Please come into my kitchen and help me bake some cookies.

You kids are too noisy - always running up and down the stairs with loud laughing! Don’t you understand, I’m trying to live in this apartment without your busy bodies always in the halls and stairs.

I am Willard. I want to pinch your cheek until it falls off. You can climb the cherry tree anytime, but don’t tell your mom I said you could.

I think all you neighbor kids are pests and brats! You only like to climb my apple tree and knock down all my apples, eat them and have cores laying around. I hate your dogs and cats, too. I’m glad my son has a BB gun and shoots them!

I am Sharon and you kids are part of my family, too. The first time I met you you asked me if I wanted to see the bottoms of your shoes so I sat down and you showed me. You are always welcome at my house and I will always share my creativity with you.

I love when you visit me. We have such good talks. Why don’t you sit on the stool there while I mix the dough and then we’ll make up these cookies and share?

I am Desiree. I always welcome your questions about the unique things in my home. When you come over, I have fruit and tea for you. I explain my Gypsy beliefs to you with a smile. Your curiosity about my life is refreshing!

I am the neighbor who never answers my door. My children do not play with anyone! I need to protect them from the world.

Come on in, Marcia. Would you like a snack? Sit down and talk to me. What? You want me to cut your hair? Are you sure it’s OK with your mom? OK then, let me get my scissors.

Hello, Karin, please come in. My husband is out of town and I’d love to play cards. It doesn’t matter that you have never played. I’ll teach you! We can have tea and cookies. I always enjoy your company.

That damn cat of yours has been in my house again. How many times do I have to tell you to control your cat! If it happens again, you’ll find him at the pound!!!

Oh, Curly Top, come on in, sit down. How have you been? Well, I’ve been just fine. I had a little trouble getting my firewood this morning. Could you help me bring some in? My hands just don’t work right anymore.

I’m not paying you 50 cents an hour if you’re going to miss digging all the weeds. Make sure you get the roots or the weeds will just multiply! Stop daydreaming and get to work. If you’re hungry, you can eat an apple from under that tree, but not one of the good ones!

If I have to tell you boys one more time to stay off my lawn I’m going to beat you both with my belt.

Why Susan, of course I’ll buy Girl Scout cookies from you! Now remember, you are welcome to come to my house anytime and borrow a book.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Staff illustrations by Charles Waltmire

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: WANTED: WOMEN’S VOICES Women: Give us your time, we’ll give you some grub. OK, we know you don’t have a lot of time to spare. We’re busy, too. But we’re interested in helping you get the most out of our newspaper. Here’s how it works: Gather together and answer some questions - just six, no sweat - about your lives, priorities, and newspaper reading habits. The Spokesman-Review will provide a $15 certificate for one of the grocery store chains listed below. At least half of the women in your group of five to 10 should be non-readers of the newspaper. If you’re interested, send us your name, address and daytime telephone number, plus the time, date and place of your women’s gathering and two store preferences. Please get your requests to us by May 30. You’ll have until Aug. 1 to hold your women’s confab. This is open to any women in our newspaper circulation area. Participating stores include Albertsons, Safeway, Excell Food Stores, Rosauers, Yoke’s, Super 1 Food and Tidyman’s. Write “WomenSpeak,” The Spokesman-Review Newsroom, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615. Or fax your request to (509) 459-5482. Or e-mail your request to womens@spokesman.com. All requests must be in writing, but if you have any questions call Mary Beth Donelan at 459-5420 or Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496. It’s this simple: You eat and talk, we listen. We’re all ears!