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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

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Mum would have been a better word

What was Keyshawn Johnson thinking when he dictated an autobiography after playing in one (1) NFL season and unloaded on New York Jet teammates?

There wouldn’t be another season?

The Jets would trade everyone Keyshawn didn’t like?

There is another season and Keyshawn is back, along with quarterback Neil (“stiff puppet”) O’Donnell and wide receiver Wayne (“wouldn’t even make anybody else’s team”) Chrebet.

Despite all the bad publicity, you couldn’t actually say Johnson is repentant.

“I’ve never regretted a thing in my life and never will,” he says. “I don’t think anything I ever said was untrue.”

Mark Heisler of the Los Angeles Times suggests “How about ‘unwise’ or ‘made you look pathetic?”’

Above the belt, dummy

Lennox Lewis, who has had trouble finding opponents who fight, used a dummy to depict legal and illegal blows for Andrew Golota, who has had a problem fighting within the rules.

“This is legal, this is not legal,” the WBC heavyweight champion said pointing to the dummy dressed in boxing trunks and a championship belt. It was held by Frank Malone, Lewis’ manager, which led to some wisecracks from a crowd at a recent news-conference promoting the Oct. 4 Lewis-Golota fight.

Golota then played his part in the promotional kickoff by hitting the dummy’s face and sending it and Maloney spinning.

Asked if he thought he could avoid throwing the low blows that led to seventh and ninth-round disqualifications against Riddick Bowe in his last two fights, Golota said, “I care about his head. That’s where he gets knocked down.”

Trade spoils good fun

One drawback to the trade that sent the Montreal Expos’ Jeff Juden to the Cleveland Indians is there will be no rematch with Houston Astro outfielder Chuckie Carr.

Carr lashed out at Juden last week after Juden hit him with a pitch. Jeff Bagwell then homered to break a 2-2 tie in an eventual 8-6 Astro victory.

“We got to him,” Carr said. “He was very unprofessional. He threw behind me in Montreal, so I guess he had some personal vendetta against me.”

Juden’s response: “Chuckie Carr is an idiot.”

Another Tiger tale

ABC golf producer Jack Graham says there’s a reason the network followed also-ran Tiger Woods at the British Open, and it isn’t journalism.

“He’s worth two, three, four ratings points,” Graham told the New York Times’ Richard Sandomir.

Wrote Sandomir: “Somehow, golfcasters will find a way to follow Woods when he misses a cut, figuring that one shot of Tiger playing pinochle is worth 100 shots of Billy Andrade putting.”

The last word …

“Oh, we could cut his head off. That’s the only way he’s going to be 255.”

St. Louis Rams coach Dick Vermeil on Craig Heyward, who was asked to report to training camp weighing 255 pounds but showed up at 287.

, DataTimes