Expert Decorating Tips Sometimes Nonsense
It’s part of my job to go through design magazines in an attempt to keep up with what’s hot and what’s not. It’s also a part of my job to nose around as many living spaces as I can weasel my way into to see just what designers and more ordinary folks are doing to make home a more cerebral, visually appealing place.
During all that page-turning and schlepping, I see lots of stuff I like. And then there’s the rest. I gotta tell ya.
Why, I want to know, do so many throw pillows and large sofa-back pillows look like they just got back from a street brawl? They’ve been karate chopped - smacked with the side of the hand so that there’s a big old dent in the top of each. Sort of the Bruce Lee approach to design.
I really can’t see the point of beating up pillows. Better, I say, to buy a punching bag. Cover it with chintz, if you must.
Throws tossed everywhere is another designer ploy I don’t quite get. In her latest book, country decorating diva Mary Emmerling actually dedicates a half-page to a step-by-step rundown on the abolutely perfect way to drape a throw over a sofa arm and down onto the seat. Mary, Mary, Mary. What are we to do with you?
Draping looks good in photos, but it’s not very practical. The best place to throw a throw, I think, is in the closet. When you want it for lounging, get it out.
Another thing that leaves me just a little decorator dizzy is how some designers use books in magazine layouts. Books are stacked randomly on the floor, under cocktail tables, on chairs.
Lord forbid you should actually want to use a chair as it was originally intended. And have you ever tried to fish a book from the bottom of a pile under a cocktail table? I think you get my point. Besides holding every tchotchke that you’ve ever collected, bookcases can also hold books. What a novel idea.
The layered look in bedding is quite popular at the moment. In some cases, it includes layer after layer of decorative pillows that reach almost halfway down the bed.
Looks lovely. But my question is this: What if you actually want to curl up on that bed? You’ve got to remove all of those wonderful pillows and stack them on a chair, throw them on the floor, trip over them in the middle of the night.
Two pillows for sleeping and perhaps a throw pillow or two for accent are plenty for me. After all, who has enough time to make the bed every morning, let alone fool around with a pack of pretty pillows? Pas moi.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star. Why in the world are you where you are? White twinkle lights in trees are fine for Disneyland and malls at Christmas, but as permanent decorative lighting in trees in ye olde back yard? My, oh, my.
In that sort of setting, when I’m offered a drink by my host, I half expect him/her to ask, “Cash or charge?”
Strategically placed up or down, lights on trees and in gardens are more dramatic and can be positioned to accentuate particular areas or shapes in the yard.
It’s only my opinion, now, but I think twinkle lights should be used only on very special occasions - and then removed once that occasion is over. Pronto.