Waterlogged ‘G.I.’ Demi Moore Plays A Gender-Barrier Crashing Commando In Dreadful Action Flick ‘G.I. Jane’

Let’s see, what was the high point of “G.I. Jane,” Hollywood’s way of saying “She is woman, hear her war”?

Wait. Did I say “point”? Let me amend: I meant points.

For surely we have to include the buzzcut sequence, where Lt. Jordan O’Neil (Demi Moore) determines that the first step toward being “one of the guys” - in this case, one of the warrior guys - involves shearing her shoulder-length tresses.

You see, Jane, or rather Jordan, has been selected to break a barrier: She is to be the first woman subjected to the rigors of what is known as SEAL training, the first and most necessary step toward becoming a member of the Navy’s elite commando force.

It is a goal hardly anyone wants her to achieve. Not her new commanding officer (Scott Wilson), who accepts her presence with clench-teethed civility. Not her classmates, who spend their time either making sexist remarks or resenting her ability to keep up (she’s aided, in no small part at least initially, by lower physical standards).

And certainly not by her instructor (Viggo Mortensen), an old-school Navy master chief who deems it his duty to make sure O’Neil quits.

So he makes it tough on her. Super tough. So tough that she has to make a choice: become as much of a guy as she can, or walk away. Jordan chooses to stay, which means her hair cannot. Only after being shorn is she really ready to kick butt.

But I digress. I said the movie boasted high ITAL points UNITAL, remember? Those would have to include the scene in which Jordan refuses to cower before the master chief when he comes to harass her in her shower (he obviously hadn’t seen “Striptease”).

And certainly it would have to include the scene in which Jordan finally gains the respect of her peers by screaming out a particularly inviting, cross-sexual invitation (one that Roseanne fans should be familiar with).

My favorite, however, is the one-armed push-up scene. Meant to be symbolic of Jordan’s growing toughness (to cover himself, screenwriter David N. Twohy has created an Olympic-athlete history for his heroine), the scene is photographed by the always visual-minded Scott in shadows and half-light. The rivulets of sweat dripping down her torso feel reminiscent of “Rocky” even though they have more in common with soft-core porn.

All of this is thrown up on the screen long before Jordan realizes that she has been sold out - not by her instructors nor their superior officers but by the very person whom she most trusted. “It was never gonna happen anyway,” Jordan is told.

But, of course, we know that it IS gonna happen. For the movie almost immediately rushes to its “Top Gun”-type climax, which sends Jordan and her classmates to Libya where they… well, no, they don’t actually save the universe from extraterrestrials a la Will Smith. But Jordan proves her mettle (and wins a medal).

In the end, “G.I. Jane” is a curious concoction. It can’t be simply dismissed because, for all his awkwardness with storyline, director Scott is a filmmaker with major credits (“The Duellists,” “Alien,” “Thelma and Louise”).

The issues the film ostensibly raises can’t be dismissed either. If we ever are going to have a society in which women are truly considered equal to men, then we have to find a way to accept the idea of them fighting, and dying, in the same kinds of trenches that American men have dug for more than 200 years.

Of course, “G.I. Jane” isn’t really concerned with such seriousness. It isn’t concerned with reality, period. Its concerns run more to haircuts, to shower scenes, to one-handed push-ups and to the attendant box-office receipts.

A discriminating moviegoer might very well rank “G.I. Jane” as the worst movie of the summer. What’s bizarre is that discriminating or not, many viewers are likely to consider it great fun to watch - though not necessarily fun in any way that was intended.

Guilty pleasure or no, this one deserves to be rated GB - for Gloriously Bad.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

MEMO: Two sidebars appeared with the story: 1. “G.I. Jane” *-1/2 Locations: Newport, Spokane Valley 12, Showboat Credits: Directed by Ridley Scott, starring Demi Moore, Viggo Mortensen, Anne Bancroft, Scott Wilson Running time: 2:00 Rating: R

2. Other views Here’s what other critics say about “G.I. Jane:” Michael H. Price/Fort Worth Star-Telegram: Come the next war, if we don’t nuke ourselves to smithereens in record time, we might arrange to torture captured enemies by propping their eyelids open and forcing them to watch endless showings of Ridley Scott’s “G.I. Jane.” Or perhaps I should say “Demi Moore’s ‘G.I. Jane,’ ” for the film is more an exercise in vanity for the exhibitionistic actress than it is a showcase for director Scott’s supposed mastery of filmmaking. “G.I. Jane” is a groaner and a yawner, though spiked with enough crowd-pleasing ultra-violence and shock-value profanity to trick an undiscriminating audience into feeling entertained.

Matt Wolf/Associated Press: A mismatched bookend to brother Tony Scott’s hit “Top Gun,” director Ridley Scott’s grim and humorless “G.I. Jane” takes a distaff view of military derring-do that will leave you as wrung-out - and far less triumphant - than its determined heroine.

Jay Boyar/The Orlando Sentinel: “G.I. Jane” is itself pretty dehumanizing. This unabashedly manipulative message movie has been constructed specifically to assault the audience with its agenda. Its point is that women should have the same opportunities in the military as men do. You don’t have to disagree with this position to feel a little pushed around by the film. “G.I. Jane” has all the subtlety of a drill instructor and only about half the finesse.

Duane Byrge/The Hollywood Reporter: Where it missteps is in its human dynamics; the dialogue is utterly shrill and emanates from a squadron of largely stereotypical characters. Unlike life, and detracting from its realism, is the story’s general lack of surprises and predictable character etchings.