December 5, 1997 in Features

The Slice Just Ignore That Voice From Above

By The Spokesman-Review
 

At this one big North Side store where clerks call to one another over the intercom, they refer to seasonal customer requests and such by saying “Christmas, line one” and so on.

Well, a 4-year-old boy named Tim was in there the other day. And he heard a disturbing follow-up message come over that intercom: “Cancel Christmas.”

But before the lad could sink into deep despair his parents assured him that the big day was still a go.

Office party do’s and don’ts:

Don’t…

1. Get wasted.

2. Stare at cleavage or play “Boxers or briefs?” in an obvious way.

3. Flip people off.

4. Expect that anybody really wants to hear anything you have to say.

5. Scare co-workers’ spouses by describing the true psychological horrors of your particular workplace.

Do…

1. Make sure, when complimenting someone’s job performance, that you are talking to the person who actually did the work you are praising.

2. Remember that no one ever hurt his or her image by demonstrating a willingness to shut up now and then.

3. Be nice to co-workers’ spouses or significant others. (People remember that.) 4. Resist the urge to use the party as the place where you’ll get even.

5. Avoid shop-talk. Like the boss says in the movie “Big,” it’s a party.

Slice answer: (If space aliens visited Spokane, what unique lessons would they learn about Earthlings?)

“That everyone has a pair of buffet pants.” - Michele DeBennedetto

Who’s the richest man in town: “I am,” wrote David Stagaman. “An angel for a wife, and three wonderful children.”

There’s still time to tell us about your favorite ornament: And while we’re on the subject…Last year, after Christmas, someone living in the East Valley school district dropped off a tree for recycling that still had one ornament attached. It’s a small ceramic biblical figure made in Italy. If you want it back, call The Slice.

How the real world differs from catalogs: In real life, you seldom see good-looking women wearing plastic helmets that hold two beer cans connected to a long drinking tube.

How the real world differs from Spokane: It doesn’t, sad to say.

These had nothing to do with coral: A reader who lives in Odessa, Wash., was checking out an arts and crafts bazaar in Spokane when she saw a sign for “Christmas Reefs.”

Today’s Slice question: If you decided to lead a local boycott, what would be your target?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Name the three most annoying celebrities.

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Name the three most annoying celebrities.


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