I Can Dig It

It started as the usual trip. I was crammed in the car next to my sisters, and one of them spilled soda on me. The Cheetos I had brought were stale and my parents had Yanni playing on the radio.

All I kept thinking to myself is how am I going to do this? I’ve never enjoyed trips with my family, but they say we need to bond. When we got there, I wasn’t expecting to do anything but set up a tent and sleep. That’s when I saw him.

He was in the campsite next to ours and he was hot. I hoped he hadn’t seen me because my hair was messy and I looked gross. Now would not be a good time to approach him. I made it my goal to get his number. I set up my tent and changed my clothes. I was wearing a sweater and khakis. I looked cute. I put my hair in the perfect bun. I was going for the ‘I just threw it up’ look. It took me a half hour.

I put on my Man Eater perfume and was ready to go when mom called for me. She told me it was time to go on a hike. I tried to argue with her. It was clear I wasn’t going to win. With that, we were off.

My parents babbled endlessly about nature, like I cared. How could they even think about birds when I was far away from that fine guy. Then we saw a squirrel, and my parents pulled out the camera. I was so embarrassed, they act like they’ve never been out of the house. After minutes of fussing with the squirrel, I began whining that I was finished and we had to go. They agreed, and we started back.

Then they started singing. I lingered behind because we were close to his campsite. I would die if he saw me with them, the happy camper caroling club. Sure enough, he was outside. He looked up and waved. I could’ve died.

Mom cooked dinner, but I didn’t eat it. I was on a diet of water. I drank Evian for dinner and was ready to go make a move again. I changed into a bodacious J.Crew outfit and before mom could stop me, I bolted down the trail.

I was in the bushes where I could see what I figured was his tent. I looked around but didn’t see or hear anybody. I decided to find out who this guy was, so like a spy, I crept into his tent. I felt like I was on a mission impossible.

Inside clothes were thrown everywhere. Having fashion sense, I checked for labels. This guy didn’t care about name-brands because all he had was Mossimo. I can’t believe I was scoping a guy who didn’t own anything Tommy. I decided he wasn’t very cool, so I tried to sneak out quietly. I walked out to find two boys staring at me.

“What’s your deal?” I asked.

It took them a minute to answer. I felt bad giving them attitude when I was the one sneaking around, but they shouldn’t of caught me. These boys were probably the same age as my sisters, so I’m sure they would have attitudes, too.

“Why were you in our tent?” they demanded.

“I was looking for my sister,” I said.

“Why would she be here?”

“I dunno.”

I figured that it was the boys’ tent I was going through. Then I decided to pump them for info. I asked who they were camping with and they said their dad made their brother take them. We already had something in common. We both got forced into camping.

I got as much info as I could until they said they wouldn’t talk unless I gave them candy.

I wouldn’t have candy anyway. I explained how my body is a temple and I wouldn’t ruin it by putting Mambas in it.

I left the boys and went back to my tent to think. Thanks to his brothers, I got some good info on my crush named Jake. That is such a cool name, it sounds like a big muscley construction worker. He isn’t one, but he is captain of his school football team. I was hoping he was a college guy, but he was still hot. He lives in the town next to mine so he could visit me on the weekends.

I went to bed early to prevent bags under my eyes for the next morning. I wore an adorable outfit and pranced over to his campsite. I was shocked to find no one there. All the gear was gone. I didn’t even get his digits.

I wanted to go home. I decided I’d just sleep the whole time. I was bummin’ when I went back, and my sisters looked bummed, too. I asked them why, and they said their boyfriends left. I asked them who they were, and they said they were next door.

They were referring to the twins who wore Mossimo. I laughed, then suddenly stopped. “Did you snag their number?”

“Yup, their brother said for you to call him.”

I was stoked. When I got home, I called him and talked for awhile. Then we decided to do something that weekend, maybe go camping. I was really excited, ‘cause after all, I dig camping.