He’s Used To The Sound Of One Hand Clapping
If you didn’t catch David Letterman’s “Late Show” Friday night, you missed seeing Ellen Degeneres and Anne Heche with their baby.
Actually, America’s best-known lesbian couple - who have talked about becoming parents - borrowed the baby from a Letterman staffer as a gag.
Beforehand, the talk show host had presented the pair with a set of “hers-and-hers” towels and engaged them in his typical banter.
“You’re a lesbian right now?” Letterman asked Heche at one point. “Yes, right now, this very second,” she replied.
Heche then asked Letterman about a joke in his monologue that he only had two sexual experiences in this year.
“So maybe you should change your sexuality?” she suggested.
“Nah,” Letterman replied. “I like being alone, frankly.”
Loose talk
U2 singer Bono, on his dream job (in the Toronto Sun): “The top of the food chain are not actors but stand-up comics. They’re telling things the way they are without people even noticing. I would love to play that part.”
And maybe this comic would like to be a rocker
Paula Poundstone turns 38 today.
That Tim just keeps hammering away at him
Jerry Seinfeld, who announced last week he’s ending his popular sitcom this spring after a nine-year run, really is going out on top. For the second straight year, Seinfeld was the most popular television personality in a nationwide Harris Poll, followed (again) by Tim Allen, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby. Rosie O’Donnell moved up from eighth to fifth, and Drew Carey from 10th to sixth. Meanwhile, Letterman slipped two spots to seventh place - still one ahead of Jay Leno.
But by now, they’re no longer mad about it
Comedian Carol Leifer, a former “Seinfeld” writer (and the basis for the Julia Louis-Dreyfus character Elaine), wasn’t particularly popular with him 20 years ago. Along with another then-struggling stand-up performer, Paul Reiser (“Mad About You”), Leifer tells TV Guide: “We went to the Comic Strip together in 1977, and Jerry was the master of ceremonies, and he passed us both on the audition.”
He’s just upset that he must see them there
Seinfeld, by the way, is said to be increasingly perturbed by the relationship between former girlfriend Shoshanna Lonstein and “Friends” star David Schwimmer. Not only did they ignore his earlier complaints, says the Star, they’ve been spotted at some of his old haunts.
Sense of direction never was her strong soot
In her latest routine, Lily Tomlin recalls returning to the apartment where she lived as a little girl, which was boarded up following the Detroit riots. “The boards were broken, so I pushed my way inside,” she says, “and even though the apartment was all charred, I looked for my room and found my wallpaper still there underneath the black smoke.” But when she called her brother to share the news, laughs Tomlin, “He told me that I’d gone into the wrong apartment.”
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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino