Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Spokane: A wide range of diverse activities

Who says there’s nothing do in Spokane? Today you can go to the survivalist expo at the Convention Center and listen to somebody spewing neo-Nazi hate. And then you can step right across to the B.B. King concert in the Opera House.

Clinkerdaggers has its eye on new site

This just in: Clinkerdaggers has abandoned plans to buy Salty’s - and opened negotiations to purchase Dick’s Burgers by the Bagfull.

Here’s one guy who becomes more innocent by the minute

After the Richard Jewell fiasco, I am being very careful not to jump to any conclusions about that possible local connection with the Olympics bombing. However, I am more certain than ever about one thing: Richard Jewell really didn’t do it.

If only the rest of the operation was this efficient

America Online has its priorities straight. It has made access impossible, refunds complicated, and cancellation difficult. Billing, however, is ruthlessly efficient.

As if boot camp weren’t torture enough …

Now I remember why I didn’t join the Marines. I didn’t want “blood pins” jammed into my quivering chest-flesh. Actually, I didn’t even want to do pushups.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.