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Something we’d be happy to arrange

In his new book as if his first one wasn’t lit-trash enough the Bulls’ Dennis Rodman says, “The only bad press is an obit.”

Tap the hypocrisy

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is mystified by criticism of his appearance in a TV beer commercial, pointing out that throughout his career his photo has been used in beer ads and he has never espoused the use of alcohol.

“I played for the Milwaukee Bucks for six years - ‘Brew Town’ - and Miller Brewing sponsored our radio broadcasts,” Abdul-Jabbar said. “They did promotions using my picture. I had no control over it. I didn’t have any problem with it. They didn’t require me to say that I drank beer. That was enough for me.”

Abdul-Jabbar noted it was customary for a photo of the NBA All-Star team to be made into a poster sponsored by a brewery.

“It’s been like this for my whole professional career,” he said. “Why now, at this point, do I get this static? That’s the only thing I’m saying.”

The NBA Hall of Famer has been denounced by the Islamic Society of North America for his appearance in the Coors ads as an endorsement of alcohol, which is prohibited in Islam.

Abdul-Jabbar, who converted to Islam in 1971, said he was careful in choosing the content of the commercial and insisted he never held a bottle of beer.

The commercial shows young men playing basketball among snow-covered peaks. Abdul-Jabbar appears intercepting a pass, then shooting a skyhook.

“I didn’t see too much problem with it,” he said.

Particularly the part where he got paid.

Good training for the 200-meter free-for-all

A high school swimming coach from Olympia and his assistant have been fired for ordering members of the boys team to run miles outside barefoot and wearing only swimming trunks.

The North Thurston school board voted to accept a recommendation that Erik Strom, coach at the school for four years, and assistant Shelley Barclift be dismissed for excessively harsh discipline.

School reports indicated Strom was frustrated by the team’s lack of effort and ordered 20 swimmers out of the pool to run outside. Several later sought medical attention for foot injuries.

Surely this will discourage the football coach from sending his slackers into the pool.

Political basketball

They don’t call it “Hoosier Hysteria” for nothing.

For years, all 384 Indiana high schools have competed in one state tournament. But this year, officials have divided the schools into four classes according to size.

That borders on sacrilege to one legislator, who has sponsored a bill to postpone the multiclass tourney until 1999, following a statewide vote in 1998.

“In a lot of states this would be looked upon as something silly,” says sponsor Lawrence Buell, R-Indianapolis. “But in a state where so many people have an interest and a concern, it is important that we have this debate.”

Larry, in a state that tolerates the antics of Bob Knight, nothing seems silly.

The last word …

“I think we’ve got a psychological advantage here by it being so cold. People don’t want to be here. Sometimes, I don’t want to be here myself.”

- Stephon Marbury of the Minnesota Timberwolves on homecourt advantage

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo