On New Year’s, We See This: Dominatrix Diana

Picture this: Princess Diana dressed in leather and holding a whip.

If that’s too graphic a vision for you, then imagine how upset the royal family is over a faked photograph of the princess that a a British newspaper ran on Dec. 17. The Insider’s ad wished readers “a spanking New Year.”

The royals have complained to the Advertising Standards Authority, pointing out that Di is still considered a family member and thus is protected by a ban against such unsanctioned commercial use of her image.

Tim Satchell, Insider’s editor, admits the mag failed to ask for the princess’ permission. “We are now applying retrospectively,” he said, adding that he thought Diana “looked quite stunning in the outfit.”

Loose talk

Former talk-show host Jon Stewart to MTV personality Daisy Fuentes, who had asked him his girlfriend’s name: “Do you want her real name, or the one she dances under?”

Gimme an H, gimme an A, gimme a P…

Country Joe McDonald turns 55 today.

You have to keep abreast of current affairs

Putting things in the proper perspective, Lesson 1: “We’re not saving lives here,” Wonderbra spokesmodel Michelle Madison told TV Guide. “It’s a bra, and it’s a great bra, and that’s what it is.”

Over on the Sony float, they’ll be doing the tsunami

So what wave will Tournament of Roses participant June Lockhart use? “I’ll do the windshield wiper off the right shoulder,” says the “Lassie” and “Lost in Space” actress, who will be riding atop the Thomas Edison float during today’s annual New Year’s Day parade.”But I might get very tired,” Lockhart added. “So I’ll also do the other one, which looks like a Queen Elizabeth wave.”

Then, like, she can maybe snare a rich chump, too

Ivana Trump, whose claim to fame is that she once was married to Donald Trump, has said she wants her daughter - would-be supermodel Ivanka Trump - to stay in school. Here’s why: When told that she’d been hired to be a spokeswoman for Sasson clothes, the Trump teen tittered, “It’s, like, out of this world.”

But enough about us, what do you think of us?

Starring in a big-name production such as “The English Patient” is one thing, says actress Kristin Scott Thomas. Starring opposite Ralph Fiennes is something else. “Having a leading man who is actually prettier than you are is quite upsetting,” she told US magazine.

The Secret Service will have her home by midnight

Bill Clinton reacts to daughter Chelsea’s dates like any other father. “I think, after they have been here a time or two, they feel pretty comfortable around us - and around me,” he told People magazine. “It is OK with me,” he added, “if they do not feel entirely comfortable.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster