Strategy For Tackling Depression

Dear Jennifer: Shortly before Thanksgiving I heard some news that sent me into an acute depression. For several days, I slept long hours, woke with a heavy pressure on my chest and often cried.

When I re-emerged into normal living, I took a moment to write down what I had done to cope.

I acknowledged that I was overwhelmed.

I accepted my inability to “fix it.”

I practiced being still in my mind as much as possible.

I made a list of self-care items: eating carefully, exercise, calling friends.

I did the small things that were doable to help solve my problem.

This list has been well received by friends and I hope you might find it serviceable in your column. God bless the work you do to help people.

Penny

Dear Penny: You have put together a wonderful list, so simple and so right. Thank you for sending it. The only thing I would add is to remember that the feelings do pass, you will not be forever stuck in this moment of time or pain.

Jennifer

Dear Jennifer: I’m writing to highly recommend a very readable book on the 10 C’s. The book is “Smoke on the Mountain: An Interpretaion of the Ten Commandments” by Joy Davidman. The commandments are definitely relevant for today and ought to be discussed as you are trying to do.

I always appreciate reading your column. Last night I was reading Thomas Merton’s “New Seeds of Contemplation” and this paragraph seemed to describe what you do:

“If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything that can be read. If you want to help other people, you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn.” Keep up the good work.

Linda

Dear Linda: Great quote, thank you! I would add that sometimes I am trying to get my readers to write things that will help me. I believe that public discourse is the breath of a democracy and as long as we can talk, and argue, we will remain free and evolve into more intelligent and giving creatures.

Jennifer

Dear Jennifer: Christmas stimulates the charity and compassion in all of us, but the rest of the year too many of my friends have lost the habit of giving that my parents assumed was right. The newspapers nag Bill Gates to contribute, but what do people like you really give year round?

Kelly < Dear Kelly: I am most comfortable with two kinds of giving, the obvious and the ideal of everyday sharing. The obvious is important because it shows other people that you care and encourages them to do the same.

My obvious contributions have gone to groups such as Childhaven, MAVIA, community college “women in trades” programs and environmental groups like The Nature Conservancy.

I prefer to give time as well as money to keep up my connection to the projects I support.

The ideal of everyday sharing is just the willingness to give whatever you have to whomever needs it. Perhaps it’s a quarter for someone who is short at the grocery store, maybe it’s equipment or clothes for a telented student, or it’s a job for someone because the money helps them more than it hurts you.

I love to give to people who give to their community. I have a wonderful mailman, Paul, who always goes the extra mile to be of service. I also have neighbors who make everday life easier.

What I don’t do is give to charities that have bureaucracies or are not actually trying to solve a problem. Neither do I give to able-bodied panhandlers or alcoholics.

I don’t give enough. I’ve been given so much by opportunity, luck or good-timing that I always feel guilty at Christmas. I wind up putting money in all the Salvation Army kettles and resolving to do better next year. Let’s all resolve to do better next year.

Jennifer

, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Jennifer James The Spokesman-Review