A Fairly Common Problem, It Seems

Dear Ann Landers: I am swamped with work, but I just had to respond to the woman in Royal Oak, Mich., who is embarrassed because she has such a poor sense of direction. She is not the only one. I have been afflicted with this curse for as long as I can remember.

I must allow an extra hour whenever I leave the house because it’s a cinch I’ll get lost, even though I have written instructions. No maps. They never work. The cell phone is on constantly. Sometimes, my husband will stay on the line for an hour giving me directions.

My family and friends think it’s funny, but it kills me to call from a neighboring city I’ve been to a hundred times and ask, “Which way do I turn to get home?” I feel like an idiot.

You can use my name because everyone in Portland has given me directions at one time or another. - Pamella Iman, Portland.

Dear Pamella: What a good sport you are! People can’t help but admire your candor. If misery loves company, please rest assured you have a lot of it. Keep reading for additional testimony:

From Miami: I’m 54 now and have had a direction problem for as long as I can remember. When I was in elementary school, I would get lost coming back from the bathroom. I would never volunteer to go on an errand for the teacher because I knew I would never find my way back. Even now, I become totally disoriented when I’m a few blocks from home. I feel like a nitwit and it was extremely comforting to know I’m not alone. Thanks for printing that letter. It made my day.

Kernerville, N.C.: I am 45, of above-average intelligence and have a serious problem with right and left turns. I even get confused in places I’ve been dozens of times and that are very familiar to me. It’s worse at night. I’ve read that this type of disorientation is a form of dyslexia, which sounds a little better than “a glitch in the cranial wiring,” as you put it. Many members of my family have the same problem so we say we inherited it from Grandma and laugh about it a lot.

Beaverton, Ore.: I am 29 years old and am in the same boat as your Royal Oak reader. I’ve found it helps to identify landmarks, such as the store with the big clock in front or the huge tree on the corner. If they chop it down, I’m sunk.

Parsippany, N.J.: Please tell your readers not to be embarrassed to ask for directions when they aren’t sure how to get where they want to go. People love to give directions. It makes them feel important. What burns me up is when some jerk gives you wrong directions because he doesn’t want to admit he doesn’t know the way, either. P.S. Women never do this. It’s strictly a male thing.

Florence, Ala.: Your reader from Royal Oak shouldn’t be ashamed of her zero sense of direction. A lot of us have that problem. It is called directional or spatial impairment. This is a brain dysfunction that cannot be remedied, so we are unable to learn directions, no matter how many times we go over the same ground. After 30 years, I can still get lost in my own city. A cloverleaf is like a maze to me so I am limited in travel. This is a serious handicap, and I don’t hesitate to tell people about it. Urge your readers to be honest about this affliction instead of trying to cover it up. They will then get the help they need and feel much more comfortable.

So, dear readers, this is Ann talking. As one who is also “spatially impaired,” I want to thank all who wrote to confess this inadequacy. It made me feel a lot better.