Make Informed, Deliberate Plans

Dear Ann Landers: This letter is in response to Wondering in Washington, whose father left a lot of money to his second wife, “Greta,” a few years back. His adult children are now worried because she is planning to remarry and they fear they will be left out. I’d like to tell your readers how to prevent this from happening to their money when they die.

My stepfather recently passed away. During his illness, we discovered that he had the foresight 10 years ago to deal with this identical situation. He had children from a previous marriage, as did my mother. He provided for my mother by allowing her to live off the interest from his trust for the remainder of her life. However, upon her death, his trust will go to his children, whether she has remarried or not. Her estate will go to whomever she names in her trust. I urge everyone, no matter how simple or complicated your financial situation, to hire a lawyer and have a will or trust written. You will then know that upon your death your wishes will be respected. - Thankful in California

Dear California: The foresight paid off. Too many families’ relationships are soured because Mom or Dad didn’t think ahead and get their affairs settled properly before they passed on. Money fights among siblings take the longest to heal. Keep reading for more on his subject.

Dear Ann Landers: This is in regard to “Greta,” who inherited Dad’s money after he changed his will six months prior to his death. How do we know Greta didn’t ask Dad to do this, saying she needed to pay all the bills and promising to see to it that this family was well taken care of? In one sense, the money is hers. In another, it does indeed belong to Dad’s heirs - not Greta. The will should have been contested. The children should confront Greta before she remarries. She may be a nice person, but where money is concerned, not all “nice” people operate on an ethical level. This sounds manipulative to me. My husband agrees. - San Pedro, Calif.

Dear San Pedro: It may sound “manipulative” but Greta has the law on her side. Keep reading for more:

Dear Ann Landers: I am a certified financial planner in Washington state and wish to respond to the letter about the father’s estate being willed away from his children to his second wife, who is planning to remarry.

Most parents don’t deliberately disinherit their children, but a great many do so accidentally. “Wondering” worries about the money Dad supposedly left to his five children in his will but that went to his second wife, Greta. Greta is considering remarriage. Will Dad’s money end up in the new husband’s pocket?

The money now belongs outright to Greta and probably will end up mingled with the new husband’s money. This brings up a whole raft of issues about financial and estate planning for second marriages.

Did Dad and Greta have a prenuptial agreement? How did they hold title to their property? Did Dad convert his separate property into community property, either deliberately or accidentally? (Washington is a community property state.) Did anyone actually see the will that left everything to Greta?

This story is a perfect example of why couples entering second marriages should seek legal and financial counsel, especially if there are children or substantial property is involved. - B.F., Vancouver, Wash.

Dear Vancouver: Your closing sentence said it best. My thanks to all who wrote.