A Victim Remembered Terri Dobler’s Killing By A Boyfriend Triggers Symposium On Domestic Abuse

Few expected Terri J. Dobler to be a victim.

She was a spunky redhead, friends said - a well-dressed woman with a passion for Harleys, a paralegal who helped abused and neglected children.

But Dobler, 41, couldn’t protect herself.

Last month, she was found dead - shot in the head by her live-in boyfriend who also killed himself.

“Terri was so opposed to violence, I couldn’t believe she would get herself in that kind of situation,” said Barbara Rielly, Dobler’s friend and former supervisor. “I thought, ‘My God, if this could happen to Terri, this could happen to anybody.”’ Shocked and angry over her murder, Dobler’s friends wanted to teach other women about domestic abuse.

The result: a five-hour forum called the Terri J. Dobler Symposium on Domestic Violence. The event drew more than 400 people Wednesday to Spokane Community College’s Lair Student Center Auditorium.

An SCC legal secretary instructor, Rielly came up with the idea after talking to her students two days after the murder. When she asked if any had been involved in similar situations, half of the 39 women said yes.

“I was overwhelmed,” she said. “There were lots of tears. I cried through four straight classes.”

She brought together about a dozen of Dobler’s friends to organize the symposium, which they hope will become an annual event.

Their goal is to help others detect potential abusers long before they get involved in a relationship.

Charles Epperson, Dobler’s boyfriend for four months, had served nearly 17 years of a life prison sentence for killing his father-in-law. Dobler didn’t have a clue, friends said.

“These abusers find a woman who’s looking for companionship,” said Nancy Jeanes, a close friend of Dobler’s. “They find their weaknesses really quick, then the next thing you know the girl’s hooked. By then, it’s too late.”

Looking back, friends now can see the warning signs.

Epperson was a control freak, recalled Sandy Hird, Dobler’s neighbor and friend. He would get angry if she went out with her friends, furious if she was having fun without him.

“Terri was scared to death of him,” Jeanes said. “She wasn’t the type to get involved in that kind of situation unless someone put the fear of God in her.”

During the symposium, women asked questions about abusive behavior and where they can go for help. Speakers from such organizations as the YWCA’s Alternatives to Domestic Violence program and the Women’s Center in Coeur d’Alene addressed the role drugs and alcohol play in domestic violence, and the common characteristics of battered women, which include low self-esteem and depression.

“If a woman says she’s being battered, believe her,” said Carolyn Morrison of the YWCA. “Look at who’s in the emergency rooms, in the morgues. Look at why we’re here today.”

, DataTimes