His Qualities Outweigh Fetish

Dear Ann Landers: One of the most valuable aspects of your column is that it lets troubled people know they aren’t alone. I felt a knot in my stomach when I read the letter from the woman whose fiance, a successful attorney, confided that he loved to wear women’s underwear and frilly gowns.

My husband is also a transvestite, only it was our young niece who dropped by unexpectedly and caught her “Uncle Ed” in a chiffon housecoat and high heels. She was totally freaked out, but I had the presence of mind to manufacture a story about Uncle Ed practicing for a part in a play.

We are both in counseling now, and I have accepted the fact that he will never change. Our sex life has always been good and still is. Is this guy kinky? Of course, but my counselor explained it this way: “He doesn’t drink, do drugs or cheat on you. He’s a good husband and a great father. His harmless deviation isn’t worth breaking up a home for. Overlook it.”

I took the counselor’s advice and am now - At Peace in Rochester, Minn.

Dear Rochester: Some people might think “Uncle Ed” has a bit of strudel in the noodle, but your counselor put the problem in the proper perspective. I applaud you for your ability to accept it.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I are friendly with a couple who are living together. I will call them “George” and “Patsy.” Patsy and George were fooling around while George was married to “Priscilla,” which is the reason they divorced. My husband recently told me that George has been sleeping with Priscilla again.

Since we spend time with George and Patsy, it has become extremely difficult for me to pretend I don’t know about it. This situation does not seem to bother my husband. He said a lot of divorced couples sleep together. Well, I don’t agree with him, and it is very disturbing to me.

I need to know if I should tell Patsy what is going on, in the name of friendship, or if I should keep quiet and continue to feel guilty. Also, I would like to know from your readers if many divorced couples do indeed sleep together. I am appalled that my husband is not outraged about this. I think it is totally immoral and indecent. What do you think? - No City, Just Florida

Dear Florida: I am always surprised at the number of people who believe it is their “duty” to tell friends and family members what is going on behind their backs. This world would be a better place if more people would mind their own business.

As for divorced couples sleeping together, I’m sure some do and sometimes they even remarry. Since each situation is different, I’m not making any blanket statements.

Dear Ann Landers: Last Christmas, I received many photo greeting cards from friends and family. One friend who was pregnant sent a picture of the ultrasound of her unborn baby.

Ann, the black and white original, when duplicated, turned red and was badly distorted. It was so grotesque, I could not display it with my other cards. Will you please print this letter so other mothers-to-be won’t make the same mistake. - Post Holiday Trauma Out East

Dear P.H.T.: Your friend was probably so thrilled with the prospect of motherhood that she couldn’t resist the temptation to let the world know. My advice to all prospective mothers is this: Please restrain yourself until after the baby is born to send pictures. Embryos are not very photogenic.