For Vanessa Crisis Nursery Established In Memory Of Battered Toddler Marks Its 10th Year Of Helping Parents Cope

Two years ago the staff at Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery was reluctant to allow Neal Barbour to volunteer at the nursery.

Volunteers are asked to make a long-term commitment, and the staff questioned Barbour’s resolve, given that he was only 14 years old.

But Barbour prevailed. Staff members put the lanky, easy-going teenager to work cleaning the kitchen and raking the yard. However, they quickly discovered that Barbour is simply good with kids.

Had Vanessa Behan lived, she would be the same age as Barbour is now, 16. They might have attended Lewis and Clark High School, where Barbour is a junior. Each semester one to four LC students volunteer at the nursery, but Barbour’s been the youngest.

Two-year-old Vanessa Behan died in February 1982 after suffering injuries authorities alleged were caused when she was allegedly punched by her step-father, who was acquitted on manslaughter charges.

The death nevertheless spurred a reaction in the community which led to establishing the 24-hour crisis nursery, now 10 years old, in hopes of preventing similar tragedies.

Barbour doesn’t know the full details of Vanessa’s death in a small apartment on the lower South Hill. Police had found cigarette burns and old bruises on her body. Neal only knows “she was beaten to death.”

Neal and 30 other nursery volunteers spend three hours each week trying to ensure that what happened to Vanessa won’t happen to other children.

The crisis nursery is the only one of its kind in the Northwest. More than 85 percent of its funding comes from individuals and businesses in the Spokane area, said Kelly McPhee, development director.

The nursery also employs a staff of 25 social workers and care-givers.

Bill Bailkowsky, a concerned South Hill resident, founded the non-profit agency in 1983 and remains on the board of directors. Volunteers raised the money to buy an old mansion at 1004 E. Eighth and opened the nursery in 1987.

The nursery’s role in the community is sometimes misunderstood, McPhee said.

It’s not a home for abused children but a resource for parents and a refuge for children.

“Parents have to love their children very much to bring them here,” McPhee said. “It takes courage to admit you’re having trouble parenting.”

“It’s the parents who don’t call whose children end up on the front page of the newspaper.”

The nursery tries to help any family in a crisis situation. Information is kept confidential.

No parent or child’s name is ever released to any person or agency unless there is evidence a child has been physically abused, McPhee said.

“We’re here to help people and support them. We’re not here to judge them.” McPhee said.

In its 10 years, more than 17,000 children have stayed there.

“It looks pretty good for (having served) that many kids,” McPhee said.

Inside, most signs of wear occur below the three-foot mark.

“Seven-year-olds aren’t much taller than that,” explained McPhee, patting the wall.

The nursery can care for up to 14 children, from newborns to age 7, for up to 72 hours.

“But we won’t send a child back into a dangerous situation,” McPhee adds.

The nursery also offers parenting classes and crisis counseling.

McPhee urges parents to call the nursery, day or night, if they need information or referral.

Over the years, many South Hill residents have taken advantage of nursery services. They know it’s there, they’ve driven by, or they’ve received a recommendation from the nearby Martin Luther King Jr. Family Outreach Center.

The nursery also draws parents and children from all over Spokane County and as far north as the Canadian border, McPhee said.

Many volunteers, like Barbour, and many donors are South Hill residents.

Why did Barbour choose to volunteer at the nursery?

“I’m just drawn to little kids,” he said.

One recent Tuesday afternoon, Barbour balanced a 3-year-old boy and a drawing slate on his lap.

“Draw me a cat,” the little boy asked.

Barbour began drawing.

“You start with the tail,” he said, sending the black marker curling across the slate’s shiny surface.

“You see such a wide variety of kids,” Barbour said.

“I’ve had little kids completely curse me out. They’re 4 years old, and they’re already imitating their parents.

“Then I see such streaks of brilliance. They’re always wanting to learn and wanting to be read to.”

Parents use the nursery for many reasons.

Mothers fleeing domestic violence often leave their children at the nursery while they seek new living quarters.

Or a parent needs a place for her child to stay while she takes care of sorrow in her life.

“We had a woman whose husband was killed in a drive-by shooting, and she was escorting his body to the coast,” McPhee said. “She needed a place for her little boy to stay.”

About 80 percent of mothers who use the nursery are struggling economically, McPhee said.

One woman phoned McPhee to say the nursery allowed her to put her life in order.

At first, the woman hesitated in leaving her children at the nursery, in the hands of strangers.

“I used your services five years ago for three months,” she said. “I had five kids, and my husband up and left me. At first I was afraid to leave my children there, but when I drove up and saw all the art in the windows, I knew it would be all right.”

“It is kind of gaudy in here,” said McPhee, surveying the dining room, decorated with bears, donkeys and stars on the ceiling, and the playroom, stacked with toys, games and a trunkful of children’s shoes and boots in every size.

Last year the nursery staff had to turn away 700 children for lack of space. Staff members directed parents to other agencies.

“If they’re fleeing a domestic violence situation, we send them to a homeless shelter,” McPhee said. “We find creative ways to help those families.”

Last year Spokane County’s Child Protective Services office received 5,699 reports of child abuse - and recorded the deaths of seven children.

When CPS receives calls from parents that need help, CPS staff often puts them in touch with the nursery.

“If you’ve got support and family and money, you’re going to use those resources. The crisis nursery is a great place for folks that don’t have those kind of support systems,” said Roy Harrington, regional administrator for CPS.

“People call us and say, ‘I’m dealing with this issue, and I don’t want it to get out of hand,”’ Harrington said.

“We’ll hand-walk people over there (the nursery) to help them get the services they need.”

The nursery is looking at the possibility of expanding, McPhee said, because the need is so great.

Only eight children can stay overnight. Eight tiny beds fill one large room.

“There’s always a houseparent in the room if a child wakes up,” McPhee said.

And a rocking chair in the room. And someone always there to hold a child who needs to be rocked.

While volunteers, like Barbour, often comfort or reassure children, McPhee often reassures parents that there isn’t any stigma attached to leaving their children at the nursery.

“Anyone might find themselves at a point in their life where they need our services,” she said.

“Some parents just need a break before they say, ‘I’m ready to be a mom or dad again.”’

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