Tomorrow Sure To Be A Better Day

Dear Readers: Ever since “Somewhere in California” wrote to say she intended to kill herself, I have been inundated with letters from people begging me to discourage suicide. Because the mail has been so compelling, I am re-opening the subject:

Dear Ann Landers: The letter from the woman contemplating suicide touched my very soul. She wrote, “Don’t try to talk me out of it, Ann. My mind is made up. I just want to know how I can make it easier for my husband, my family and my co-workers.”

You said you had no advice on how to make it easier. You told her the pain she will inflict on those who would be left to mourn will be excruciating, and it never goes away. You were so right, Ann. My father committed suicide when I was 11. Five years later, my brother did the same - with his police revolver. He killed not only himself but his wife and their two young sons.

None of this made sense to anyone who knew him. Now, 30 years later, it still doesn’t make any sense. Suicide is a horribly selfish act. It may be a “solution” to the person who does it, but it’s a terrible thing to do to your family. Please spell it out to your readers one more time. - Daly City, Calif.

Dear Calif.: Your letter “spelled it out” far better than I could. Keep reading for further validation of what you have written.

From Lenexa, Kan.: My 17-year-old son committed suicide on Mother’s Day. He left a Mother’s Day present with a loving card but no hint of why he decided to do what he did. I am totally devastated. My life will never be the same. How could he not have known how much we loved him and how much he would be missed? We thought he knew, but apparently we were wrong. His death left dozens of unanswered questions.

Bucyrus, Ohio: When I was 16, my father shot himself. I am now 77, an R.N. and married to a wonderful physician, and I am still not over it. My saint of a husband says I have been depressed for most of our married life. I have had psychiatric care and have been on medication for years. If I hadn’t reached out for help, I would not be here today. I beg of that person who wrote, GET HELP NOW.

No Name, No State: Thirty-seven years ago, I came home from school and found my father who had just killed himself. My sisters and I are all in loveless marriages. Through therapy, we have come to know why we married the men we did. Suicide clouds everything. It’s a terrible thing to do to those who love you - the ultimate act of selfishness.

Rohnert Park, Calif.: The woman who told you she was going to kill herself was a hypocrite. If she really cared for her family, she would spare them the agony and pain they will suffer when they learn of her death. There are suicide hot lines all over the country. They are free. If that woman or anyone else who reads this letter doesn’t want to use the hot line, they can call me collect. Here’s my phone number.

Dear Friend: I am not printing your phone number, but you are generous to offer it. There is no national suicide hot line, unfortunately, but telephone books should list local suicide hot lines. Information is also available by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: American Association of Suicidology, 4201 Connecticut Ave. N.W., Suite 310, Washington, D.C. 20008. (Internet address: www.cyberpsych.org)

I pray that anyone who is considering ending his or her life will contact this organization. Tomorrow will be better. The fog will lift. The sun will shine, and you will be glad you’re around to see it. Trust me.