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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

He’s not exactly a brontosaurus, he’s a bronchitis-saurus

Joe Camel, accused of pandering to underage smokers, is dead. This week R.J. Reynolds announced a new mascot, Barney the Butt-Smokin’ Dino.

The Mars rocks have a different composition than previously suspected

The Mars rover backed into a rock this week. The rover was undamaged, but scientists are looking into why the rock yelled, “Hey!”

They also get taken to a cutting board and filleted

What do sockeye salmon have in common with local college presidents? They’re always getting jerked around, gutted and canned. , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.

Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.