July 22, 1997 in Features

The Slice It’s Not Paranoia If Mosquitoes Really Are Out To Get You

By The Spokesman-Review
 

We heard from a reader who gained a little weight recently after having her son.

She figures mosquitoes tend to single her out now because they have come to regard her as a one-stop all-you-can-eat family buffet.

Another reader suggested the buzzing bloodsuckers fly straight for him because they are attracted by his high alcohol content.

This kid might need credit counseling some day: A reader in Deer Park told us about a 3-year-old girl who was informed by her parents that they didn’t have enough money to buy a certain toy. The kid thought about that. Then she asked, “Well, why don’t you buy more money?”

Multiple choice: Which takes longest?

a.) an alpine forest’s complete recovery from a major fire;

b.) a couple with a baby parking and then getting packed up and actually walking away from the car;

c.) a Spokane Indians game;

d.) chicken grilled by a backyard chef who has seen “60 Minutes;”

e.) convincing a visitor from out of town that the Labor Day event really is called “Pig Out in the Park;”

f.) someone going from being anointed the latest greatest thing in Spokane TV news and that person getting fired or going to another city;

g.) a KSPS pledge break;

h.) the life span of a new comic strip in the Swell Paper;

i.) the Cougars going from unrealistic hopes to being eliminated from Rose Bowl contention;

j.) a new Woody Allen movie coming to Spokane;

k.) your book group getting around to talking about the book;

l.) getting through the express-lane when the checker and the customer ahead of you are flirting;

m.) the period between the onset of a season and people around here saying this year’s weather is unusual;

n.) Dennis Erickson changing his mind about a promise;

o.) getting a grizzly bear sow’s attention by petting one of her cubs;

p.) new street paving wearing out;

q.) the interval between letters to the editor from Curtis Stone warning against gun control;

r.) explaining America to someone who says Chicago is “Back East;”

s.) getting back to I-90 in Missoula;

t.) driving to the Newport Cinemas;

u.) bowling a complete game with people who mostly want to talk;

v.) finding a place that will deliver a pizza to your home in the East Central neighborhood after dark;

w.) a KPBX pledge break;

x.) getting a long-distance operator to give you an Athol number;

y.) reading some stupid Slice list;

z.) other;

Today’s Slice question: How do the things Inland Northwest women want in a man vary from national norms?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. You can refuse to fly on Airbus planes.

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. You can refuse to fly on Airbus planes.


Thoughts and opinions on this story? Click here to comment >>

Get stories like this in a free daily email