Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News
The criminal justice system works, under certain circumstances
The Timothy McVeigh conviction has restored our faith in American justice. As long as the defendant is a poor, disgruntled loser and not a rich athlete movie-star, the system works.
New evidence uncovered of a not-so-Bigfoot
Somebody has found a mysterious giant footprint in North Idaho. Some people think it might be Bigfoot, but at 14 inches long and 7 inches wide it actually belongs to a hitherto undiscovered species, Fatfoot.
Do you ever feel as if we’ve been somehow cursed?
About that big damaging windstorm that hit Spokane last weekend: Please, Grover, enough is enough.
Here’s something to look forward to: Power deregulation
Boy am I excited about the idea of deregulating the electrical power industry. Maybe it will become just as cheap, efficient, and thoroughly annoying as the deregulated telephone industry.
They’ll be looking for credible corporate spokesmodels
They say electrical rates will go down, but I don’t understand how. Somebody will have to pay for those TV ads in which Larry “Bud” Melman pitches rate plans for the Bonneville Power Administration.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 photos
MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.