Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News
Am I thinking of the correct multi-million-dollar project?
The cost of that new Lincoln Street Bridge has gone up to $36 million. However, if we don’t build it, the Seattle Seahawks will leave town.
His commitment is right there on the screen
Paul Allen promised to spend $100 million of his own money on the new stadium. Unfortunately, he’s already spent $99 million of that on TV election spots.
This is what they call a red flag issue
I could go either way on that flag anti-desecration amendment. On one hand, I don’t think people should burn flags. On the other hand, I believe that our most ancient civil freedom is the right to prance around in flag underwear.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client was displeased with Waco
What point were McVeigh’s attorneys trying to make in the penalty phase? That it’s wrong to kill 168 people unless you’re really, really mad about some stuff?
A higher Atlantean court may overturn this decision
In a victory for common sense, the Austrian Supreme Court has ruled that a Berlin crystal shop owner cannot pretend to “channel” a 35,000-year-old Atlantis warrior named Ramtha. A former housewife from Tacoma is the only one who can do that.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos
MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.