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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Official Carries A Big Stick But Treads Lightly

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Revi

Greg Casey, the U.S. Senate sergeant-at-arms and brother of Coeur d’Alene High School Principal Steve Casey, has one unique power. If push comes to shove, he has the authority to arrest the president of the United States. (That’s Bill Clinton for those of you who are trying to forget.) During a conference call to Coeur d’Alene High honor students last week, Greg was asked how he’d go about arresting the commander in chief. Replied Greg: “Carefully.”

Some tomato

At an Albertsons checkout counter Thursday, a checker named April had trouble scanning a tomato. First, the love-apple wouldn’t scan; then, it slipped out of her hand. Said April to a bagger named Peggy: “This tomato doesn’t want to be weighed.” Replied Peggy: “It must be a girl.” Onward. … The report by Brian Carroll of Laclede that “a case of cows” was at large along U.S. Highway 2 reminds me of something you might see in those old “Far Side” cartoons. Or farther-out Bonner County. … Speaking of the Land Before Time, Sandpoint resident Mike Kinney recently threatened to topple two trees and put a junker on his property if city planners didn’t allow him to build a duplex. They didn’t. And the new eyesore at Pine and Washington proves Mike wasn’t making an idle threat.

List of five

Congressional flack Khris Bershers sent an e-mail list of how you can tell you’ve been in Washington, D.C., too long: (5) You know that Kenneth Starr is not the quarterback from Super Bowls I & II. (4) You actually watch Sunday morning television. (3) You can stand at the Lincoln Memorial without saying, “This is where Martin Luther King Jr., Louis Farrakhan and Forrest Gump once stood.” (2) You name your dog Checkers and your cat Socks. (1) (drumroll, please) Jesse Helms actually is starting to look attractive.

News you can’t use

The breathless ad in the Bonner County Bee said the Hidden Lakes Golf Resort course was in great shape. And it was - for ducks. But everyone else needed waders to play the six holes flooded by the Pack River. … On June 10, the hapless Bee offered a headline for the ages: “Speedy trial: Jury convicts man of molesting daughters before lunch arrives.” Wouldn’t he have been just as guilty if he had waited until after lunch to have done his dirty deeds? … In Kellogg, the Show-No News-Press introduced reporter Jamie Fiorino with a story that carried her byline and said in part: “Her biggest challenge, she says, will be getting used to a small town and stores not open 24 hours.” After a few months with the North Idaho News Network, Jamie will be talking to herself, too. … Finally, the Coeur d’Alene Press - Brand X, if you will - published this headline above a “Dear Abby” column: “Woman’s kissing fear puts finance in funk.” Her fiance wasn’t happy either.

Huckleberries

Superintendent Max Harrell reacted poorly after the Bonner County School Board offered him a three-year contract extension. First, he presented trustees with an illegal budget that was $1 million out of whack. Then, he applied for a job in Oregon. … Shhh. Don’t tell anyone, but the round stickers given to contributors by the United Way are made in Canada. What does that say about the effectiveness of those “shop locally” campaigns? … FYI: A move is afoot to name the North Idaho College library after Bob Bennett, the recently guillotined college president. … At Coeur d’Alene High ceremonies, Charlotte Mitchell of Athol thought husband Roy was making up names when he said he was waiting for Zeb Zelinski to graduate. But Zeb is real - and was the last member of the class of ‘97 to receive a diploma.

Parting shot

A visitor from Puerto Rico got this howdy-do shouted at him along Sherman Avenue: “Hey, what are you doing in town? The reservation is down there.” Afterward, the dark stranger swore he’d never buy gas in Coeur d’Alene because fuel taxes support local government. Now, that’s a story you won’t see in a tourism brochure.

, DataTimes MEMO: Got a Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline at (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125 or send e-mail to daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review

Got a Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline at (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125 or send e-mail to daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review