Dump Him, He’s Bad News
Dear Ann Landers: For the last 18 months, I have been dating a man in his early 40s who has never been married. Things were going well until I discovered by opening one of his phone bills that he had been having phone sex.
It didn’t seem to be all that bad until I started to call the numbers that appeared on the bill. They turned out to be gay party lines. Needless to say, I am in shock, not only because he had been making these calls but because the phone bill was more than $700. This is a lot of money for a man who has told me repeatedly that he is on a very tight budget.
When I demanded an explanation, he claimed he was under the influence of alcohol and cocaine when he made those calls. I pointed out that the calls did not occur on just a few nights but over a period of several weeks. He also had obtained a feature that allowed him to get voice-mail messages from gay males.
He keeps insisting that he is not bisexual and swears up and down that he will never touch drugs again, which, he says, were the source of his erratic behavior. I was well aware that he drank, but I have never seen cocaine in his house. I feel very vulnerable and need your guidance. - Arcadia, Calif.
Dear Arcadia: The facts speak for themselves. Most likely, this man is bisexual, plus he is an alcoholic and a drug abuser. Dump him at once. He’s bad news.
Dear Ann Landers: I am happily married to a very good man, but for the last several months, I have been fantasizing a lot. I daydream about making love to a refrigerator repair man, a young lifeguard at the beach and a potential employer who is interested in a combination secretary-playmate. All these males are muscular, tall, dark and handsome. Sometimes, I daydream about an ex-boyfriend. I relive the hours of passionate lovemaking.
I am really happy in my marriage and sexually satisfied, and have no interest in cheating on my husband. So what is wrong with me? - Fantasy Lover in Houston
Dear Houston: You don’t say how old you are, your husband’s age, how long you’ve been married or whether or not you have children, so actually, I don’t have much to go on.
Dream castles can be fun to visit, but no one should try to live in them. My guess is that you have too much spare time on your hands. You need to become involved in some constructive, satisfying activities that will make you feel good about yourself. Contact your local library, your neighborhood hospital, the Junior League or the United Way and volunteer your time.
Dear Ann Landers: You printed a letter from a lady who asked if it is tacky for a man to use a discount coupon on the first date. She said, “Most females I know would like to feel that we are worth full price.” Full price for what? - Fred in Fort Pierce, Fla.
Dear Fred: She didn’t say, and I didn’t ask.
Dear Ann Landers: A while back, you printed a reader’s definition of conservatives and liberals. I have one that is even better, and I hope you will use it.
If a conservative sees someone drowning 100 yards off shore, he’ll toss him 50 yards of rope and expect him to swim the other 50 yards so he doesn’t become too dependent on outside help. A liberal will toss out 200 yards of rope and immediately let go of the other end - in order to do another good deed somewhere else. - K.C., Mo.
Dear Mo.: I’m sure many readers will agree with you - even though I don’t - but thanks for writing.