And Now, ‘Night Of The Living Dread’
You’ve been sitting for eight hours behind the computer terminal screen at work. The day is done, your time is yours. Now you want to sit behind your very own screen at home. But the process is not as simple as it should be.
If your objective is to go into a zombie trance before the flickering images of “Love Boat,” you must click on one electronic box, the television set.
If your desire is to become hypnotized by the Internet, you must move to another electronic box, the computer.
Soon, however, you will be able to move from zombie to hypnotic state without changing screens. Only one electronic box will have to be fired up nightly, and the inconvenience of moving from one seat to another will be history.
It’s all thanks to convergence.
What is convergence? Convergence is the attempt to merge the television and computer into one box. Microsoft tycoon Bill Gates is said to be leading the quest. People who understand these things say his plan to buy Comcast, the nation’s fourth-biggest cable television operator, is a big step toward making convergence a reality.
By combining the Internet with television, it is said, we will some day be able to interact with the characters on sitcoms. I don’t quite understand the appeal of this.
If we wanted to interact with people, we wouldn’t be watching the sitcom in the first place. We would be holding intimate conversations with family members or attending a town meeting.
This writer, for one, sees little upside in talking to one’s television. She usually seeks out the medium for its sedative powers. Quality matters. The shows must be good enough to put her to sleep. Dumb programs only irritate. They awaken, forcing one to change channels. The program must be of sufficient interest or the brain waves will not surrender. Only then will the test patterns start appearing before the eyes, and the “viewer” may enjoy the peace of the living dead.
A safe prediction is that the interactive feature will be touted as a great advance for education. Imagine the Founding Fathers on the screen in their wigs and the rest of their get-up. They are discussing the weaknesses in the Articles of Confederation.
In the middle of it, a young student sitting before his merged TV-computer types in a question. “Do you think the federal government’s inability to enforce the powers granted in the Articles make a new constitution necessary?”
James Madison says to his colleagues, “Let me take this one.” He then turns to the TV audience. “Glad you asked that, Jimmy. You know, I once wrote, ‘A Sanction is essential to the idea of law, as coercion is to that of Government. The federal system being destitute of both, wants the great vital principles of a political constitution.”’ “Looks like we need a new Constitution, Mr. Madison,” Jimmy says. “You’re right there, Jimmy,” Madison replies. The guys in wigs return to their conversation.
That is the educational vision of interactive TV. More likely, you are relaxing in a semi-doze before an episode of “Home Improvement.” Tim Allen turns away from the latest sweet-natured spat with his wife and speaks directly to you, the audience.
Understand, the convergence people have been hard at work. They know that you recently checked the home pages of several tool companies on the Internet. You were zeroing in on power drills. Every retailer in America knows that you and your husband subscribe to Popular Mechanics. Somehow, they are also aware that you recently refinanced your mortgage, so there’s some extra cash sloshing around the household.
“Mrs. Bennett,” Tim Allen says. “I understand that you and your husband have been interested in drill sets. I think you should know that National Drill’s Homebuilder model would do everything that needs to be done at your place. Now, if you punch your credit number into your set, we can send it right off to 12 Maple St. A 10 percent discount is available for the next 15 minutes.”
American television, as its many critics in Congress point out, is trash and a blight on civil society. But while television may demean, demonize and demoralize, at least it doesn’t talk back.
Convergence. It’s enough to disturb your sleep.
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