Therapy, Prison Terms For Sexual Predators

Dear Ann Landers: I am writing about the letter from “Also a Victim in Pittsburgh,” who is in prison for killing a man. Apparently, “Pittsburgh” had been sexually abused by an uncle when he was a child, and he believed the man he killed was that uncle. You said you didn’t know enough about the writer’s case to offer an opinion. Well, I’m a male, and I would like to comment. This is what happened to me.

When I was 10 years old, my 18-year-old adoptive sister began to sexually molest me. This repeated abuse took place for about two years, and then, it stopped abruptly. I didn’t know that women could molest boys, and it confused me. The confusion turned to anger, and then, the anger turned to hatred. The hatred turned to out-of-control rage, and an innocent man lost his life. I will spend the rest of my days in prison because of it.

I have been incarcerated for nine years now, and thanks to a lot of therapy, I was able to confront my adoptive parents and tell them what their daughter did to me. Their only comment was “That’s water under the bridge.”

Ann, please inform your readers that child molestation is a horrible thing and that girls can molest young boys and “water under the bridge” doesn’t cut it. It can damage a child forever. Nobody knows this better than I do. - Paying the Price in Salem, Ore.

Dear Salem: Your story is a sad one, and I thank you for having the courage to tell it. You have educated a great many people today, and I am grateful to you.

The next letter is from a reader who agrees that child molestation can leave lifelong scars and that molesters don’t deserve a break:

Dear Ann Landers: You missed the boat in your response to the Texas mother whose 7-year-old daughter was molested by a 16-year-old cousin. While you were wise to recommend therapy, in most states, any adult who suspects the sexual abuse of a child is required by law to report it to Child Protection Services.

As a psychologist, I believe that people can change and should be given the opportunity to do so, but molesters are an exception. They rarely stop, even with therapy. Sexual abusers of children should be offered counseling, but it should take place during long prison sentences. And those sentences should never be reduced for “good behavior.” These abusers should not be given the opportunity to find new victims.

Although many sexual abusers were abused themselves, there are plenty of abused children who do not grow up to become predators. To suggest, as some people do, that having been abused as a child is an excuse for such behavior, is a cop-out.

In Minnesota, we have a new community notification law that requires community members to be notified when sex offenders are released back into the neighborhood. While I applaud this effort to protect women and children, it isn’t enough. Our legal system, designed and still mostly run by men, needs to be changed. Until it is, millions of women and children will continue to be sexually abused. - A Weary Witness in Minnesota

Dear Witness: I appreciate your presenting another point of view. Almost all authorities on molestation agree with you. Thanks for writing.