Sexual Nature Portrayed In Unusual Ways
Dear Nancy: My life has been pretty stable lately. My spouse and I have a good relationship although we do have some sexual issues we have agreed to work on. This dream was vivid and strong. - Marie
My husband and I are remodeling the bathroom in the basement. While looking around, I see a plant that’s wintered over. It’s still alive and has one violet bloom, even though it has been neglected. I stick a finger into the pot to see if the soil is moist, and it is. By doing this, I disturbed some tiny flies nesting in the plant and they fly away.
My husband comes over and tells me when he pulled up the old bathroom floor he found some toxic material. He’s concerned I will be exposed to it. I wake up.
Dear Marie: Renovations and remodeling in the dream world are usually signs of progress and change. You and your husband doing this work together shows you have cooperation and goodwill between you.
In dreams, basements can represent the unconscious mind and sexuality, while bathrooms are the part of the dreamer that is cleansing or letting go of old attitudes and ideas.
Regarding the plant that wintered over: You told me your own sexuality is alive and well even though your husband’s seems to be dead. Could the plant be your own sexual nature that has survived despite neglect? Does it continue to bloom undeterred by negative influences (the insects)?
Your husband uncovers toxic material while doing this renovation and is concerned you may be exposed to it. This may be the discovery of material in his subconscious that needs to be exposed and eliminated. This could be the reason he lacks sexual energy.
If lack of passion in your marriage is an ongoing issue, I suggest you seek help from a sex therapist. Perhaps the therapist could help your husband unearth the “toxic” material.
Tips for readers: Our dreams not only reflect our outer relationships and situations but also our relationship to the different parts of ourselves.
In general, if the characters in the dream are people you know and are in a relationship with, the dream is most likely depicting your thoughts and feelings about that relationship. When people in the dream are unknown to you, they are most likely a part of yourself. Frequently it is insightful to try working with the dream in both ways.
For instance, in the dream above, the husband may represent the masculine side of the dreamer. We all have both masculine and feminine energies within us. If this masculine side (the part that is assertive, rational, practical) is unearthing something that is toxic, perhaps it’s telling the dreamer she is in the process of discovering the key to her own feelings of weakness and impotence.
Mentally playing with our dreams in this way can become a delightful and incredible source of self discovery. Dreams always inform and guide us.
This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.
, DataTimes MEMO: Nancy Huseby Bloom has studied dreams for 18 years. Dreams may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax, (509) 459-5098. Please send a short summary of the circumstances in your life and include your name, address and phone number. Nancy conducts dream groups on a regular basis. For information, call 455-3450.