Musician Nearly Got Handcuffs To Go With Leather, Chains

Coeur d’Alene police scoured the town last week looking for a suspect who tried to lure two young teenagers into his car. So, Coeur d’Alene Blue hit the ground running Friday morning when a police scanner reported “a bald guy in leather and chains sleeping in a van near the school.” But not to worry. A patrolman called back a few moments later to say the guy was in a rock ‘n’ roll band that was preparing to do a show in town that night. Understated Blue: “Yeah, they’re wearing a lot of leather and a lot of chains; they’re going to stand out.” Here? In Coeur d’Alene? C’mon.

TGIT?

The Coeur d’Alene Press published a Thursday issue that was enjoyed by all - particularly Coeur d’Alene Police Department denizens. Seems a photocopy of Brand X’s front page was left at the records department counter, with the date highlighted in yellow: “Friday, Feb. 27, 1997.” Attached to the copy was a yellow sticker with this note: “The ultimate in wishful thinking.” … Overheard Sunday night on the office scanner: “Worley unit responding to the bingo hall for possible childbirth.” Talk about hitting the jackpot. … Then, there was the call from a crime victim who reported goods stolen from a storage shed - sometime in the past year. He must have been quite attached to the “goods” not to miss them sooner. Onward.

Phallus symbol?

The Onion caught Coeur d’Alene in its cross-hairs last week with a front-page spoof on a National Rifle Association convention held here, titled: “Homoerotic overtones enliven NRA meeting.” The Onion? It’s a Wisconsin satirical weekly. Along with its story, The Onion ran a photo of an “NRA member” admiring another’s rifle, or “piece,” which stirred “potent new feelings within himself.” Ah, to be young and reckless. … In his Tales of the House column this week, state Rep. Jim Stoicheff, D-Sandpoint, perceptively described the scene during testimony about telephone deregulation: It was “like watching a civil war among a school of hungry sharks: US West and GTE versus AT&T and the small, rural, local telephone companies.” … It’s My 2 Cents: North Idaho Democrats would rebound a lot quicker if they had more politicians like “Stoich.” He has more wisdom and common-sense in his pinky than a gaggle of harrumphing senators. Huckleberries wished it could clone him - figuratively speaking, of course.

Huckleberries: Now, it can be told. The “extra” who described “Dante’s Peak” actor Pierce Brosnan as “yummy” in a Huckleberries Past was none other than (drum roll, please) Coeur d’Alene’s Judy Yeager. Since she’s a star in her own right now - Judy made a cameo appearance over Mr. Yummy’s shoulder in an opening scene - Judy probably won’t mind me sharing her little secret. … North Idaho College student Jonas Mulcahy-McNair was among those looking for himself in “Dante’s Peak” scenes. Jonas, who worked at Dockside where Brosnan occasionally ate, told the NIC Sentinel: “Pierce was a real nice guy, but he was a terrible tipper.” … What’s this? Spokesman-Review police reporter Winda Benedetti gets pulled over for motoring along at 46 mph in Ramsey Road’s 35 mph zone - and escapes without a ticket! Claims our scribe, batting her baby blues: “It was the first time I’d been stopped here for speeding. Honest (bat, bat).” Hmmm. … Why would someone drive around a Suburban with vanity plates “LACOFD”? How many times have I told you ex-Californians to assimilate ASAP?

Parting shot: An ex-Democratic once explained to me why local D’s have faded. Candidates can please them only by running a gantlet of special interests: pro-choice, gay rights, environmentalism, labor and teacher’s union advocacy. A candidate who fails to score 5-for-5 loses support. Ask Richard Stallings, the pro-life former U.S. representative.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberries Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review