The Slice Knowing The Facts Does Not Mean Applying Them
Spokane’s Linda Anderson was telling her son the facts of life.
She had covered the fallibility of birth control and a man’s responsibilities. But she hadn’t gotten to warnings about promiscuity when the boy asked a question. “If I date 10 girls at a time and all 10 get pregnant, which one will I marry?”
Said Anderson: “Then we got on the subject of abstinence.”
Some questions just can’t help but arouse suspicion: Jana Beyer, a teller at a Washington Trust Bank drivethrough window, had a customer ask if it would be possible to send a water balloon through the tubes.
If divorce is the explanation, never mind: If you donated a photo album to Goodwill in Spokane but didn’t intend to include some 70 wedding snapshots, give us a call.
A day in the life of Mead’s Madeline White: “My favorite yogurt titillates consumers with ‘FLIP AND WIN $50,000 INSTANTLY!’ I yank off the lid, lick off the yogurt and read the message ‘EAT MORE, TRY AGAIN.’
“Well, recently I tried this procedure and I found the words ‘YOU WIN.’ My heart surged with excitement until I got out the magnifying glass and read that my prize was a free cup of yogurt.”
More carpoolers found: Vicki Zimmerman and four fellow teachers share the ride to Harrington each weekday morning from Spokane. It’s two women and three men. Their ages range from 24 to 45. “We have a pretty good time,” said Zimmerman.
Well, except for the part about the one carpool member who promised to bring cheesecake and didn’t.
Slice answers: “The first revenue from a toll at the Idaho-Washington state line should be used to take out a contract on the person who first suggested it.” - K.R. Jamieson, Sandpoint
A reader at Fairchild Air Force Base said she definitely doesn’t feel that she is a part of Spokane. “We’re the illegitimate children of Eastern Washington.”
In another matter, a cheerful woman explained that she never tosses out old shoes because they always come back in style.
And Moses Lakes’ Tracy Nickels said she suspects her neighbors think she’s a pod person because, among other reasons, she is 45 and has never been married.
Today’s Slice question: What percentage of Inland Northwest residents essentially want nothing to do with other people?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Raccoons appreciate the convenience pet-doors provide.