The Slice Secret Identity Of Mascot Doesn’t Score With Fan

The guy who plays the costumed mascot “Boomer” at Chiefs games was out of uniform when he struck up a conversation recently with a fan he has talked to many times.

And the fan had no earthly idea who he was.

Here’s just one of teacher Jayce Keeling’s dreams about work: “I failed to show up for the first day of school until late in the morning. I was strolling down the street toward my school, still for some reason not terribly concerned about my tardiness. Well, I learned my lesson. I looked up at my second-floor classroom (I taught in a one-story building at the time, but the dream world cares not about such details) just in time to see a ‘60s-type convertible come hurtling out through the windows with about eight of my students piloting it.”

Local businesses that could produce hot-selling swimsuit calendars featuring their staff and management: Establishments receiving multiple nominations included Goodtymes Pub, Safeco Insurance on East Sprague, the Albertson’s at 37th and Grand, and the downtown Bon Marche.

“Smart pills”: Lisa Nunlist, a teacher at Mountain View Middle School, awards students a jelly bean when they say something bright.

“But she would still have a full jar if she didn’t help turn our idiotic phrases into insightful ones,” said one of her students.

Fill in the blank: “All the evidence suggests that I am a ( ) magnet.”

The difference between men and women: According to Kellogg’s Janice Karst, women tend to be better at teaching people things.

Forget the tunnel beneath Snoqualmie Pass: “How about a heated canal from Vantage to Lake Washington?” wrote Bruce Plewman. “The West Side of the state could pay for the whole thing out of the ferry budget. They may even be kind enough to use the ferry ‘Spokane’ on this run.”

Warm-up questions: What do you usually think about just before falling asleep at night? What’s your all-time best recollection of someone unexpectedly holding your hand?

Today’s Slice question: A local summer camp specially designed to acquaint Spokane area kids with some of the realities they might encounter should they ever leave the Inland Northwest would include what themes in its programs/curriculum?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Post Falls’ Rose Kirby, 86, has now gone 20 winters without a cold or the flu.