Perfect Husband Rolls A Perfect Game After Call

What kind of guy is bowler Bub Lawson?

Well, as he lined up his shot in the ninth frame Monday, he was paged. His wife, Michelle, wanted to know how to access their computer’s e-mail. No big deal, huh? Well, the other bowlers went nuts. They feared the phone call would ruin Bub’s concentration. You see, Bub had opened with eight straight strikes. Before he answered the call, he threw another strike. Afterward, he rolled three more in the 10th for his first 300 game. Significantly, Bub hadn’t mentioned anything about his game to his wife. And if she’d thrown him off? She wouldn’t have found out about it from him. May his kind increase.

Oh, Dani girl

Dani, 4, daughter of sportswriter Jim Meehan, was horrified after frolicking on the McDonalds playset recently. Seems someone took Dani’s boots while she was at play, leaving an identical pair - several sizes smaller. They didn’t fit, of course. Tearfully, Dani told her mother, Jodene: “We stayed too long. My feet grew.”

Speak English, dammit

You’d think Kootenai County Commissioner Ron Rankin’s English-only crusade would apply to vanity plates, too. After all, we can’t have fer’ners slipping in subliminal messages in this hyar county. So, how does he get off driving an old bomb with plates that read “VOXPOP”? Sounds Ayetalian to me. … Publisher Paul Friend reports that David Letterman subscribed to his Idaho News Observer last week. Seems the odd Silver Valley happenings covered in Paul’s paper tickled the TV host’s crew. They wanted back issues, too. So, the tale about the man who tried to pawn his wife should be showing up soon on a TV station near you. … How bad is the goose-poop problem at The Coeur d’Alene Resort golf course? It’s so bad the grounds crew had to replace a green. Don’t those waterfowl know who owns the place?

Fan e-mail

Steve Sibulsky writes in to one-up my first-robin-of-spring sighting with (drum roll, please) his first pheasant of spring. That’s right. Steve spotted the FPOS Wednesday morning, just west of Best Hill, calmly walking on a giant snow berm. It was a hen. E-mails Steve: “She seemed totally unconcerned by the downpour that was melting that snow pile. Pheasants are pretty common in Dalton Gardens. But this is only the second time in 11 years I’ve seen any south of Best Avenue.” … A United Kingdom transplant suggests a new welcome sign for Kootenai County: “Welcome to Idaho. English is spoken here, and American is understood.”

Huckleberries

The Naples General Store crowd wants to know who strolled in recently wearing a baseball cap with “FBI” on it. The locals got a belly full of the FBI during the Ruby Ridge siege. How fed up are they? Well, wearing an FBI hat around them is like someone visiting the Aryan Nations compound with a T-shirt bearing the likeness of human-rights activist Bill Wassmuth. … Bonner County Sheriff Chip Roos and a Utah cop each were bragging about their county’s potholes. One tale led to another until Chip played his trump. Yeah, he said, well we have one pothole that’s so big it knocked a snow grader on its side. And he wasn’t lying. … Some Boundary County folks had hoped that all the snow last winter would chase off immigrating Californians (including my father-in-law, I suppose). But now they’re in despair. They fear the recent mudslides are making the ex-Golden Staters feel at home again.

Parting shot

Apparently, Bonner County is nonchalant about emergencies this flood season. Last week, a recording at the emergency management office directed callers to try the road department for help with roads or sandbags. Or the commissioners for other problems (like paranoia). Or, if the emergency wasn’t that serious, to wait until Monday when someone would get back to them. How long do you suppose Bonner County residents can tread water?

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry. Call Huckleberries Hotline: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; e-mail: daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review