Cheap Seats

Gender equity? You bet

According to the New York Post, the New York Liberty of the new Women’s NBA is charging $150 for courtside seats. The next-best seats are priced at $75 and $45. That prompted Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Sun-Times to comment, “What a great way to prove greed and gouging are not gender issues.”

Anyone but Boston

They’re set to get a top draft pick, but the Boston Celtics won’t be getting Larry Bird as coach.

Bird, a Boston Celtics special assistant, told the Boston Globe he’d probably be willing to coach any team in the NBA except the one for which he starred.

Larry Legend didn’t give a reason in the published report, but the Globe said his tone indicated his history as a player with the Celtics might be a factor.

Somehow “Larry Loser” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

A twice-in-a-lifetime shot

After David Shaefer made a hole-in-one on No. 5 at Glenwood Country Club in Maumelle, Ark., he popped off to playing partner Richard Judkins when they reached the 134-yard No. 15.

“Right before I hit my tee shot, I told Richard that he was about to witness history,” Shaefer said.

“At the time, I was just kidding, but after I hit it, it was like the ball had eyes.

“It took one bounce, flew about 12 feet and jumped square in the cup.”

Afterward, Shaefer ordered a round of double shots for the house.

Smokin’ mad

Philadelphia Eagles running back Charlie Garner is suing the Philadelphia Daily News for falsely reporting that he tested positive for marijuana last year.

The lawsuit filed in Philadelphia Common Pleas Court seeks unspecified damages for defamation and lost earnings.

After the article appeared, the NFL issued a statement denying that Garner had tested positive for any illegal substances. The Daily News printed a correction and apologized.

“They regret that they published information believed to be reliable at the time that turned out to be in error,” said Katherine Hatton, general counsel for Philadelphia Newspapers Inc., which publishes the Daily News and Philadelphia Inquirer.

Those Turkish sure aren’t chicken

Sergen Yalcin was fined $200,000 by his Istanbul, Turkey, soccer team for criticizing a senior club official. That’s equal to Yalcin’s two-year salary.

It was determined at an emergency meeting of team officials that Yalcin had insulted Besiktas’ deputy president, Ugur Eksioglu.

The alleged insult was made after Eksioglu was very critical of Yalcin’s performance in a 4-1 loss.

The player responded with some comments of his own and said he would quit if Eksioglu weren’t fired.

In addition to the big fine, the club also suspended the player, and hopes to get rid of him when the season ends.

The last word …

“Considering they’ve won 21 of 68 games, maybe they should pipe in a laugh track.”

- Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser on the New Jersey Nets’ use of piped-in noise.

, DataTimes