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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Relations With Ex Make Split Easier

Ann Landers Creators Syndicate

Dear Ann Landers: I’d like to answer the lady in Florida who asked if there were other women who had ever slept with their ex-husbands. Well, I did - for three years after we divorced. I never felt guilty, nor did I ever regret it.

The first year after our divorce, we had better (and more frequent) sex than the last few years of our marriage. The second year, it tapered off, and by the third year, it was maybe once every two or three months. It was our way of saying goodbye gradually.

We didn’t fight like we did when we were married. It wasn’t necessary to make the loving (often phony) gestures some couples feel they need to maintain the relationship. We never said, “I love you,” and he never stayed overnight.

I don’t miss him and don’t wonder what would have happened if we had tried harder to save the marriage. Had we stayed together, we probably would have killed each other. Having someone to turn to while we were searching for a better life made it easier for both of us. This is really a great way to split. I recommend it. - Happy in Illinois

Dear Illinois: Your candor is refreshing. Keep reading for more:

From the East Coast: My wife and I went to a bar after our divorce to celebrate. We both got schnockered and ended up in bed. I couldn’t function. We laughed about it, which was a good way to part. Please don’t print my city or state.

California: You wanted to hear from women who have slept with their ex-husbands. Well, I qualify. I was married to “Ed” for 10 years when I caught him in a motel with his secretary. I threw him out and married a widower I had known for ages. Unfortunately, my widower died a year later. John’s secretary turned out to be a tramp, and he divorced her. He asked me to remarry him. I said no. He then suggested we just sleep together because there are too many new diseases out there to take chances, and the physical release would be good for both of us. I agreed, and we’ve been doing it ever since.

Scarsdale, N.Y.: I’m another married woman who is sleeping with her ex. He phoned four months after our divorce and said, “My new wife is nice, but she’s an icicle. Let’s get together and call it ‘Mental Health Night.”’ I agreed because my new husband was also “nice” but a premature ejaculator. What with AIDS out there, we felt this was a good decision. No commitments, no regrets.

New York: Count me among those women who did indeed sleep with their ex-husbands after the divorce. It was three years to the day after we split. He had a very brief and unsuccessful marriage (with the woman who caused “the problem”) while I moved 300 miles away and cried a lot.

My ex and I saw each other for the first time after our divorce at the rehearsal dinner for our son’s wedding. When our eyes met, I knew I was still crazy about him. We sat together at the wedding. When our son and his bride exchanged vows, my ex reached for my hand. My heart pounded so hard, I was afraid he would hear. We danced at the reception, and I knew then that we would spend the night together.

The next morning at breakfast in his hotel suite, he said he had been miserable without me and asked if I would consider taking him back. I said yes. We were married three months later. Whoever wrote that song proclaiming love is better the second time around must have remarried his ex. I have never been happier.

Dear N.Y.: What a beautiful love story. Thank you for sharing it with my readers. I wish you and your husband a lifetime of happiness.