Cheap Seats
There is no ‘I’ in ‘earned run’
During a 14-8 victory over Texas, Brewers pitcher Ben McDonald called the press box three times to complain about the official scoring - and argued his way out of four earned runs by lobbying that errors be charged to his teammates. “Their starting pitcher over there is more concerned about his ERA than winning,” sniffed Will Clark, who lost a hit in the rescoring. “That tells you what kind of person he is.”
Not that Will Clark’s that kind of person. Nah.
No highlights of Clinton jogging, we’ll bet
House Speaker Newt Gingrich rattled off scores almost flawlessly and got in a couple of jokes as a guest sportscaster on an Atlanta TV station.
The Georgia Republican was celebrity sports anchor on WXIA-TV’s Sunday night news.
“I love it when they hit to right field,” Gingrich said as the videotape showed Pirates right fielder Emil Brown dropping a fly ball to allow two Braves to score in a 3-1 victory.
Moments later, presenting a NASCAR story, Gingrich joked: “Today’s race is my personal favorite. Why? The drivers turn right.”
Concluded Gingrich of his TV stint, “It’s a little different than the U.S. House.”
Yeah. It’s tougher to borrow $300,000 from the news anchor.
Hi, Bob
OK, it wasn’t so much that the Philadelphia Phantoms and Hershey Bears of the American Hockey League combined for 350 penalty minutes in one game.
It wasn’t that referee Brad Watson handed out eight game misconducts. Or that Philly goaltender Neil Little broke the nose of his Hershey counterpart, Sinuhe Wallinheimo. Or that the two teams are approaching the AHL record for penalty minutes in a series: 575, by Hershey and Cornwall in 1995.
It’s that the Cornwall coach back then and the Hershey coach now is named Bob Hartley.
Could the Philly coach be Mr. Carlin?
Fix!
Wayman Tisdale obviously wasn’t expecting Phoenix to get to the second round of the NBA playoffs against Houston. His band opened at the House of Blues in Chicago on Wednesday.
Or maybe he was expecting to be traded to the Hawks.
A job we’d be good at
Since the shortest route from the tee to the 17th green at St. Andrews is over a corner of the Old Course hotel, flying golf balls sometimes make tea time interesting at the Conservatory.
The windows are made of laminated glass, but damage to the outer panes adds up to thousands of dollars each year. The Scottish resort is trying to find better glass at least in time for the 2000 British Open by having pro John Kelly knock golf balls straight at new kinds of panes.
‘We’ve even tested bomb-proof glass,” Kelly said. “But the ball went straight through it and the embarrassed salesman beat a hasty retreat.”
So home owners along the first hole at MeadowWood should be on the lookout.
The last word …
“There cannot be any public interest in a return bout between chess master Gary Kasparov and the IBM computer unless one of them has been training with Andrew Golota.”
- Chicago Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome
, DataTimes