Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Please, cast your vote for the city’s future

The mayoral election offers the city a clear choice of direction: Backwards, or aimless meandering.

Can’t the dentists and hygienists work this out among themselves

Speaking of elections, why are they bothering us with this dental hygienist initiative? What’s next, the Paper or Plastic Initiative? The Toilet Seat Up or Down Initiative? The Should a Junior Stylist Do Perms Initiative?

It’s amazing what a person can learn during election season

I’ve learned an awful lot this election season: Marijuana saves lives, dentists are our friends, and Hitler based his ascent to power on trigger locks. Oh, and one other thing: Downtown Spokane isn’t worth saving.

Clearing up a minor problem with Bottom Lines

Correction: Due to a tabulation error, everything ever printed in Bottom Lines should be reversed.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.