So Powerful, He’s Getting Real Alien For ‘E.T.’ Sequel

Who’s king of the hill known as Hollywood?

Not some faceless suit running a hydra-headed media conglomerate.

According to Entertainment Weekly, it’s the casually dressed dude who last summer gave us “Men in Black” (which earned $243 million)…the guy who then proceeded to gross $229 million while grossing us out with packs of pint-sized “compys” in “The Lost World.”

“Ultimately,” the magazine writes, “Steven Spielberg (age 50) isn’t the most powerful person in entertainment because he can alternate high-concept blockbusters with Oscar-friendly dramas. He’s the most powerful person because right now anyone on this list (of entertainment’s 101 most powerful people) would sell their spouses, parents or kids to be in business with him. Isn’t that the definition of power?” Uh, we guess so.

Loose talk

Secret agent Austin Powers (a k a Mike Myers) defines “power” as “being able to get your Swedish secretary on your radio phone in your private jet with the head of British military intelligence while at the same time making faces at Mick Jagger about what a stuffed shirt the head of M15 is.”

Er, sorry Mr. Spielberg…it won’t happen again, sir

Kate Capshaw (Spielberg’s wife) turned 44 Monday.

From Capt. Outrageous to Gen. Magnanimous

A pair of 58-year-olds share the second-most-powerful spot on Entertainment Weekly’s list: Time Warner chairman Gerald Levin and vice-chairman Ted Turner. First, Turner negotiates a $7.5 billion merger, then promises to give the U.N. $1 billion over the next 10 years. See why you didn’t make the list?

Let’s hope love of trash just “A Current Affair’

Rupert Murdoch, 66, held on for No 3, despite getting smeared in the post-Diana backlash for being the world’s No. 1 tabloid titan.

And Disney CEO Michael Eisner, 55, finished fourth thanks to the success of “Ransom” and “George of the Jjngle” (and no thanks to Southern Baptists who hate ABC’s “Ellen,” or Chinese leaders who hate Martin Scorsese’s “Kundun,” a new Disney-backed film about the Dalai Lama.)

Suppose she got Dave sacked over Oprah-Uma joke?

Oprah knows how to get R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Just make noise like you might retire (at 43) from your popular namesake talk show. That, and other muscle flexing jumped her from 20th place last year to No. 5 this time around.

We never make more than $2.43 when we recycle

The force is still with George Lucas, 52, who generated $250 million this year simply by recycling his “Star Wars” trilogy. Now he’s directing the first of three prequels, and every studio is drooling over distribution rights. His No. 6 spot looks secure for light years.

Up in the sky…it’s a bird…it’s a plane

Jerry Seinfeld, 43, may not be able to leap over tall buildings, but he did leap from last year’s 49th spot to No. 9 this year on the strength of his $1 million-per-episode deal and continued dominance of the TV ratings race. Now, if he could only settle down with a nice girl… , DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Michael Guilfoil