Women Need Stress-Saving Devices Such As A Wife
Autumn is such a busy time. School is in full swing, everyone is hard at work after summer vacations. Life is full to overflowing with places to be, things to do and people to see.
Even with all our modern conveniences, it seems there aren’t enough hours in the day to cram everything in. All the time-saving devices haven’t saved us any time. They simply have made it possible to do even more things in the same amount of time. The need is not to save time, but to save stress.
Stress-saving devices. That’s what we need.
Many men have stress-saving devices already. They are called wives. Wives typically take charge of the domestic chores. Even the most enlightened male will find himself looking to his wife to provide information, if not service, around the house.
Wives generally are the keepers of information critical to household and personal maintenance. Who in your house knows the names, addresses and phone numbers of all the doctors, dentists, veterinarians and ophthalmologists you might need to call on?
Who can more quickly find an electrician, plumber or even a car mechanic? (I, unfortunately, have the name and phone number of my car mechanic in the portion of my brain where I keep phone numbers on speed dial.)
In addition, women are the social secretaries, responding to all written correspondence even if it comes from “his” mother, and returning phone calls. Wives monitor the health of loved ones near and far.
What stress-reducing devices would most women find helpful? If someone manufactures these appliances, they will make Bill Gates look like a candidate for welfare.
The programmable automobile. This car comes equipped with an onboard computer that can be programmed to drive a carpool route or to a soccer game and back. The beauty is that you don’t have to be in the car. This program is so sophisticated that it can handle even the densest traffic without so much as a horn honk. Program it to drop off the kids at the orthodontist and return at the correct time to pick them up.
The impersonating answering machine. This machine features not only your recorded voice but is programmed to respond to the call. So when your aunt calls about her hernia operation, the machine will say, “Oh, I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. I know you’ll be feeling better soon.”
At-home ATM machines. No one driving to an ATM or standing in line at one. The at-home machine will dispense cash up with a daily limit of $100. You don’t want to bankrupt yourself through convenience.
While we’re waiting for wizards to actually create these items, is there something else we can do to reduce stress and the pull of obligations on our time?
My first suggestion is to get rid of your cellular phone. Or if you feel you must have one, use it for outgoing calls only or if you’re awaiting a truly vital message. A vital message is one involving birth, hospitalizations and announcement of the Nobel Prize. A vital message is not the one from your child wondering where his hockey stick is.
Use your existing time-saving appliances to your advantage. After you’ve loaded the dishwasher, don’t rush to use the next labor-saving device. Use the time for yourself. Maybe you’ll take a half-hour walk/ run. Or read a chapter of your current book; check out the crossword puzzle. Or simply do nothing. It’s allowed.
Turn off your cell phone. It’s too easy a method of being tracked. There is freedom in being out of touch.
Share the load. Let others in your household experience the joy of time-saving devices. Show the kids how to load a washer and throw clothes in a dryer.
Take a personal holiday. It might be only an afternoon. But give yourself a day that has few obligations to others.