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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Lonely Mother Easy Target

Ann Landers Creators Syndicate

Dear Ann Landers: My 75-year-old mother inherited a substantial amount of money when my father died five years ago. She was lonely, and not long after, she met a repairman who is 30 years her junior. Within two weeks, I heard rumors that she had seen a lawyer and set up a silent partnership, giving this man $50,000 to start a business.

I hired a detective to check him out, and this is what I found: This man had a criminal record, including jail time for bad checks and embezzlement. He had been married four times and had several children whom he did not support. He had convinced several investors to back some of his hare-brained ventures that went bankrupt. When the detective located the man’s present wife, she said he had squandered her entire inheritance and ruined her life. I insisted that my mother break off all contact with this man. She agreed to do so.

Last year, an out-of-state detective contacted me. He was hired by another wealthy widow’s family. The detective told me the man has fathered an illegitimate child with his secretary and is currently awaiting trial for felony assault. He also told me that Mom is still seeing this man and giving him money. She has set him up in business near her home and handles the phones for him. He refers to himself as her son. I’ve heard that she’s changed her will, leaving him all her property. When I asked Mom about it, she denied having any contact with him.

I realize now that I will have to hire another detective to find out what Mom is really up to. She has been lying to me for years. It’s hard for me to keep an eye on things because I live in another state, and I don’t know what to do about her self-destructive path. Any suggestions? - Worst Nightmare in California

Dear California: It sounds as if your lonely mother is an easy target for a con artist. Obviously, the maintenance man is using her for all she is worth. Is there a clergyman, a close friend or a family member whose support you can enlist? This poor woman needs help, and it is up to you to see that she gets it. Good luck and God bless.

Dear Ann Landers: I have never written to you before, but after reading the letter from “The Other Woman and Not Ashamed,” I had to write and let her know how the wife feels.

Dear “Other Woman and Not Ashamed”: You are right when you say I have not made my husband happy. Lord knows I have tried, but something deep inside of him yearns for more - more love, more possessions, more of everything.

My two birth-control “failures” have brought him great happiness. You say you have to settle for whatever time you get to spend with him. My time with him is filled with polite conversation and looking at his back in bed. I spend countless hours lying awake trying to figure out how to make things better, but the sad truth is that he doesn’t love me and he never will.

I love my husband and sensed his unhappiness a long time ago. I told him I would make it easy for him if he wanted to leave or I would let him remain in the house and pretend to the children and the outside world that nothing was wrong. He chose to stay with me, but it’s hell to be married to a man who wishes he were with someone else. - Augusta, Ga.

Dear Augusta: If you offered to let your husband go and he chose to stay, he must not be as much in love with the Other Woman as you think. I have a feeling things are going to change. Please let me know when it happens. Meanwhile, get some counseling. You need help to get through these difficult days.