Send Back Unwelcome Toys
Dear Ann Landers: I am writing to you with a concern that I’m sure many parents share, so I can only pray that you will print my letter.
I am the mother of a 3-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy. My concern is for both of my children but especially for my son. You see, my family thinks it is cute to see him running around shooting anything and anyone in his path with toy guns. I refuse to buy him this kind of toy, but my family members insist that for him to be a normal, typical boy, he needs guns just like they had growing up. I have asked them not to give him these gifts and explained that there are hundreds of other toys and educational games, but they won’t listen to me.
My fear is that one day he will be at a friend’s house, find a real gun and shoot it, thinking it is a toy. He could kill someone or himself.
Am I being over-protective, as they keep insisting? Or are my worries justifiable? If you agree with me, tell me how to handle my bullheaded, opinionated family. - A Scared Ohio Mom
Dear Ohio Mom: I went on record years ago regarding guns as gifts for children of any age. I am four-square against it. Tell your family you will not tolerate any interference when it comes to rules and regulations in raising your child. If they insist on sending the boy toy guns, send them back or throw them out.
Dear Ann Landers: My 28-year-old daughter has recently moved into my home. She is out almost every night of the week and comes home anywhere from 11:45 at night till 2:00 in the morning. I have asked her to be home by 11:00 or 12:30 at the latest on weeknights, or midnight or 12:30 on weekends. For special events, I would not mind an occasional 2 a.m.
During the week, she is usually visiting someone, and I have the phone number of whomever she visits. However, she must drive home (about 15 miles) alone, and I cannot sleep until she is safely in the house. Am I unreasonable when I request that she come home at a decent hour? I need an outside opinion from someone we both respect. Please reply in print. - G.P., Cedar Grove, N.J.
Dear G.P.: It’s your home, and your daughter should understand that you are entitled to make a few rules. It’s difficult, however, for a 28-year-old woman to gracefully accept a curfew. I hope, for the sake of family harmony, that your daughter will find another place to live as soon as possible.
Dear Ann Landers: My sister’s son is getting married for the second time. My mother, who is 98 years of age, wants to attend the wedding, but my sister is giving her a hard time for a reason that I consider inconsequential. Will you please give us your opinion?
Mom wants to wear a white dress with black polka dots, covered with a short black jacket with embroidered pink flowers. My sister says it is inappropriate to wear black at a wedding. I say the dress is fine and my mother should be allowed to wear whatever she wants. She cannot afford a new outfit and is quite upset. Will you please settle this, Ann? It has become a major bone of contention. - Family Fight in San Diego, Calif.
Dear Family: Your 98-year-old mother has a very keen sense of fashion. Black is much in vogue these days for weddings. In fact, I recently attended a chic wedding in Long Island where the stunning bridesmaids all wore black. And, P.S., I agree wholeheartedly that a 98-year-old woman should be able to wear anything she pleases and the family should be thrilled that she is present.