Cheap Seats
Raising a stink
Dallas coach Barry Switzer said stories about his future with the Cowboys are written by “vultures, hyenas,” adding, “they all come out when they think they’ve got dead carcasses laying around.”
What’s that smell?
Hearing all the pick-up lines
When people first lay eyes on Kerri Strug, their impulse is to pick her up and have a photograph taken cradling her in their arms.
This goes for guys on the street to Shaquille O’Neal to Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“It’s kind of weird,” she said, “but if it makes them happy, and it’s not at an inappropriate time, then I let them.”
Everyone, it seems, wants to be Bela Karolyi, the coach who carried Strug off after she had made a dramatic vault as a member of the U.S. Olympic gold-medal gymnastics team in 1996.
When she competed in the Olympics, the 4-foot-11-inch Strug weighed 88 pounds, now she has ballooned to 93 pounds.
“Well, I wanted to have a life,” she explained.
Relax, Kerri, at 93 pounds, no one’s calling you “fatty.”
Doggone amazing
Wojciechowicz S. Wojtkiewicz, the former manager of UCLA’s practice football field who died recently, was better known as “Bow Wow.”
He also worked for the Los Angeles Rams for a while when the late Tommy Prothro was coach in the early 1970s.
One day, while Jack Geyer, the late Rams public relations co-director, was opening the door at the club’s Pico Boulevard office, he noticed Bow Wow coming down the street in one direction and Fido Murphy, an NFL scout, in the other.
When they arrived at the office, Geyer said, “You won’t believe this, Fido, meet Bow Wow.”
Geyer added later, “They just stood growling at each other.”
Bow Wow, Part II
Bow Wow, a self-styled Polish prince, once was married to writer Sheilah Graham. In a book she wrote about her former husbands, Graham dismissed Bow Wow with one sentence - “That nut whose name you can’t pronounce.”
But if Rodman had played …
Marv Albert is affecting the television ratings of New York Knicks’ games, even though he isn’t calling them anymore.
Going against Albert’s first televised interview since he pleaded guilty to an assault charge and had his kinky sex life revealed, the Knicks’ game Friday night against the Los Angeles Lakers on Madison Square Garden Network drew the lowest rating this season, even though they were playing a championship contender with Shaquille O’Neal at center.
“Even if you’re a diehard Knicks’ fan, what would you rather watch, the first quarter of the Knicks-Lakers game or the interview with Marv?” asked sports marketer Brandon Steiner. “They’re going to watch Marv.”
The last word …
“You can no longer buy a beatup Bronco from a beat-up Bronco.”
- Scott Ostler of MSNBC on Florida Marlins owner Wayne Huizenga’s purchase of John Elway’s Denver-area car dealerships.
, DataTimes