November 18, 1997 in Features

The Slice Maybe You’ve Experienced These Hard-To-Suppress Urges

By The Spokesman-Review
 

There are those who believe that the urge to criticize someone else’s channel-surfing style is the most difficult impulse to suppress.

But we would argue that it ranks behind these:

The urge to pretend that you drive what you drive for practical reasons.

The urge to identify with certain sports teams when they are winning.

The urge to applaud oneself for an environmentally sound lifestyle decision even though convenience was the real determining factor.

The true test: “My best friend knows all about me and loves me anyway.” - Annie Fair, Spokane

They’re always on the same day of the week: Nancy Burke, a parent volunteer, was looking at some school papers handed in by a Coeur d’Alene third-grade class. The questions the kids had been asked pertained to the calendar. One was “On what day does the 11th fall?”

“On the 18th,” one boy answered.

Burke had to admit there was a certain logic to that.

Speaking of answers: A friend of his said Spokane insurance man Rod Russell is on a first-name basis with the most people around here.

And a friend of Jane Lear nominated the University of Idaho employee for that title.

In another matter, Randy Richter said that if TV’s “Frasier” was set in Spokane instead of Seattle, the show’s writers would make sure that the lead character spoke in understandable sentences.

“It would be called ‘Fitzsimmons,’ ” said two different readers.

Brian Kermode said the difference would be that no one would watch it.

Carol Voogd said the Spokane radio station airing Frasier’s show would keep listeners confused by moving it to different time slots.

“Nobody would listen to his radio show because we already have all the answers here,” said Peg Carter.

And David J. Christiansen said the woman hired to take care of Frasier’s dad would be Russian instead of English and the show’s characters would meet for coffee in parking lots instead of in trendy cafes.

Old Spokane: B-52s with tall tails, drive-in theaters, The Spokane Chronicle and The Crescent.

New Spokane: Subdivisions with silly names, dissent, Mt. Spokane High School and Wal-Mart.

Warm-up questions: What would you put in a Holiday Office Party survival kit? Is the word “bedable” ever used anywhere other than on the covers of women’s magazines?

Today’s Slice question: If Mattel came out with a line of Northwest-themed Barbies, what would some of these new dolls be called?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Thanks to Idaho Public Television for airing “All Creatures” on Sundays.

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Thanks to Idaho Public Television for airing “All Creatures” on Sundays.


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