A Precedent With President Cougs One Win From Storming Capital
Scene: The White House, the morning of Dec. 1, 1997. Press secretary Mike McCurry greets President Bill Clinton as he enters the Oval Office.
McCurry: “Good morning, Mr. President.
Wonderful developments in Iraq.”
Clinton: “Watch it, Mike. That’s what I said about Paula Jones and look at the hot water I’m in now.”
McCurry: “Sorry.”
Clinton: “So what’s on the agenda today? Twist a few Congressional arms? Nursemaid the Fed? Phone tag with Janet Reno?”
McCurry: “Uh, actually, we’ve got the Washington State Cougars coming in for lunch.”
Clinton: “I don’t need any campaign contributions, Mike. I’m a second-termer. Send them over to Bruce Babbitt, why don’t you? Sounds like an Interior matter to me, Cougars and whatnot.”
McCurry: “No, Mr. President, you don’t understand. The Washington State Cougars are a football team - champions of the Pac-10. Here’s a media guide and some background material for you.”
Clinton: “They staying the night? Because the Lincoln Bedroom’s booked through 1999. We could put them up in the old Marilyn Monroe suite, I suppose.”
McCurry: “No, Mr. President, they’re just stopping by to shake hands and give you a jersey.”
Clinton: “Is that OK with Fred Thompson?”
McCurry: “As long as Al Gore doesn’t try to auction it off at a fund-raiser, we’re in the clear.”
Clinton: “Pac-10 champs? I thought we only invited national champions to the Rose Garden.”
McCurry: “Well, Mr. President, they sort of invited themselves.”
Clinton: “Invited themselves? You suppose anybody would buy it if we put it out that John Huang sort of invited himself, too?”
McCurry: “You see, the last time they made it to the Rose Bowl, they visited the White House and they’d like to keep up the tradition.”
Clinton: “When was that, exactly?”
McCurry: “Nineteen thirty - 67 years to the day.”
Clinton: “Who’s presidency?”
McCurry: “Herbert Hoover’s.”
Clinton: “Bolt the doors and pull the shades, man! Tell ‘em nobody’s home! The last time these guys went to the Rose Bowl, the country plunged into the Depression! Hoover couldn’t have won re-election if the Democrats had put up Al Smith again.”
McCurry: “Calm yourself, sir. I’m sure it was only a coincidence.”
Clinton (thumbing through media guide): “Coincidence? Look here - they beat Washington in 1929 and the next thing you know it’s Black Thursday. They crack the AP top 10 this year and the Dow drops 550 points. We won’t have a pot to put a chicken in.”
McCurry: “Too late, Mr. President. They’re here.”
Mike Price: “Mr. President, I’m Mike Price, coach of the Rose Bowl-bound Washington State Cougars.”
Clinton: “Did anybody else hear a crash?”
Price: “Let me present our Heisman Trophy candidate, quarterback Ryan Leaf.”
Leaf: “Mr. President, we’d like to give you this special Cougar jersey we had made up.”
Clinton: “Why does it say ‘Bears’ on it?”
Leaf: “Oh, wait. That’s the one I’ll be wearing on draft day. Here’s the Washington State jersey - our crimson home uniform with the number 1 on it.”
DeJuan Gilmore: “Hold on, man. What am I supposed to wear in the Rose Bowl?”
Price: “Mr. President, let me introduce you to some of our other players. It would be a real honor for them. This is Leon Bender, one of our defensive tackles.”
Clinton (preoccupied, ignoring Bender’s outstretched hand): “Whoa, get a load of that cheerleader!”
Bender: “Punk!”
Price: “And this is Chris Jackson, one of our top wide receivers.”
Jackson: “Mr. President, it’s a pleas…”
Price: “That’s enough, Chris.”
Clinton: “What about this big fellow here?”
Love Jefferson: “I’m the tight end, Mr. President. Love Jefferson.”
Clinton: “I love ‘The Jeffersons,” too. My favorite TV show, my man.”
Price: “This is Ryan McShane, an offensive tackle.”
McShane: “Call me ‘Chopper,’ Mr. President.”
Clinton: “Sorry, that’s what I call Mrs. Clinton.”
Price: “And this is our middle linebacker, Todd Nelson.”
Nelson: Clinton: “Excuse me?”
Nelson: Price: “He’s a little shy, Mr. President. We call him ‘The Mute.”’ Clinton: “Hmm, maybe we can get him an appointment to the committee investigating campaign fund-raising.”
Price: “So, Mr. President, what do you think of the Cougars?”
Clinton: “Well, you’ve certainly had a great season and you have a lot to be proud of and if Paula Jones doesn’t take me to the cleaners my money’s on you in the Rose Bowl.”
Price: “We look at Michigan not as an obstacle, Mr. President, but as an opportunity.”
Clinton: “Mike, would you be available during the primaries to write some campaign speeches for Al Gore?”
Price: “I’ll have to check with Rick Dickson, but I think I’ll be tied up for some time.”
Clinton: “Well, stop by anytime. I’m always happy to be on the program with another guy who’s proven he can win in November.”
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Graphic: It’s been a long time…
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Blanchette The Spokesman-Review