Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

A very special puberty episode of ‘Seven Is Enough’

The father of those septuplets was all smiles this week. We’ll check back at about puberty to see how that smile is holding up.

A major vindication of butter-eating

Did you hear the great news about butter? It’s actually better for you than stick margarine. Or to put it another way, it’ll choke off your lifegiving arteries slightly less quickly than stick margarine.

What about the health effects of news anchors on the sides of buses?

On a related subject, the Spokane Regional Health Board wants to ban cigarette advertising on billboards. This will help make more room for liquor billboards.

Maybe an out-of-town mayor isn’t such a bad thing

It appears there is a very, very slight problem with the Odessa mayor. He actually lived 60 miles away in Airway Heights during most of his current mayoral term. The propriety of this is still undetermined, but the Spokane City Council immediately passed a motion saying that they would have no objection if John Talbott moved to Odessa.

Stranger things have happened

Actually, Talbott is already mending fences with the council. Pretty soon, they’ll turn into a cohesive, committed team and then what kind of drama will there be on Channel 5?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.