When Dr. Jekyll Becomes Mr. Hyde

What is going on? Perfectly decent Dr. Jekylls are turning into nasty old Mr. Hydes. Dr. Jekyll asks you out on a date. You’re all excited, you get all dressed up, you open the door: Mr. Hyde!

Tanya met Bruce through her next door neighbor. They talked. They laughed. He seemed fine. He called. They talked. They laughed. He seemed fine. “Natural and interesting.” They made a date to go to an outdoor art festival. Goodbye Dr. Jekyll, never to be seen or heard from again.

Mr. Hyde showed up for their date.

“He pulled up in his sports car. He stepped out, and I was horrified. He was practically naked. He was wearing a baggy pair of shorts and a matching tank top, the kind with real low arm holes. All I saw was skin and hair. The weather, worse yet, was not that warm, so his outfit was inappropriate, not only for a first date, but also for the weather. His hair was swept back from his forehead, and he was wearing suntan oil so that his entire body and forehead were greasy.”

At this point, Tanya could have done a sudden, “Oh my head!” But she didn’t. She told herself she was being “too picky.” She told herself to relax. Who knows? Maybe Dr. Jekyll would come back. (Right. There was a better chance of Hale Bop making another appearance than there was of Dr. Jekyll making a house call.)

So Tanya got into his car - “a Subaru, which he admired very much and compared to a Porsche.” He pushed in a CD - “so loud we couldn’t talk.” She was beginning to get the message. Forget nice and normal, funny and natural. This guy was strange.

And he acted all “bedroomy.” “He was all slinky and cooing and saying things like ‘Oh, you like that, huh?’ He was wiggling around a lot and trying to rub his arm on mine. I wanted to go home and take a shower.”

“The date,” says Tanya, “went downhill from there.”

They watched a parade. Hyde admired a float with several personal water craft on it. “I want one of those,” he said. Tanya didn’t tell him she thought they should be outlawed. His old car, also a Subaru, went by. Hyde stared at it until it drove out of sight.

“By the time we ordered lunch, I had decided I would never go out with this weirdo again. This was a holiday, so I ordered a Bloody Mary. He was appalled and told me in a self-righteous tone that he didn’t drink.

“The capper was when he looked at my eyes, which are green, and said, ‘Green eyes and brown hair. Is that what your driver’s license says?”

“No, blue eyes and blond hair. What else would it say?”

Tanya excused herself and headed for the ladies room. When she returned she said she had the stomach flu and could Hyde please take her home, now.

“Men act normal until they’re on a date. Then they act like Don Juan and no matter what they say or do, they think they’re going to get lucky. This one didn’t.”

When Jason met Jennifer he thought she was just the “sweet, natural” girl he was looking for. He met her at the hospital. He was visiting his grandmother. She was visiting her aunt. He asked her if they could go out sometime and she said, Great! He asked her to think about what she’d like to do and she said, Great!

Exit Dr. Jekyll, enter Ms. Hyde.

When Jason picked her up, Jennifer had transformed herself into Olivia Newton-John in the second half of “Grease.” Big, teased hair, skin-tight clothes, major makeup. Jason was shocked. But not as shocked as when she told him she wanted to go to a hot, new club with loud music and a hefty tab. She spent the entire night looking over his shoulder to see who else was in the club. She waved at and flirted with everyone and ignored him.

“That’s the last time I’ll ask out a girl until I’ve seen her three or four times in different situations. I want to give her every opportunity to let her ‘evil’ side come out. My new motto for dating is: ‘No surprises!”’