Ferrari Fantasies Factory Tour, Test Drive Great Lesson In Humility And Speed
Maranello is not the kind of place to drive your Porsche. Or your Dodge Dart. It’s the home of Ferrari, the holy of holies in the sports cars world. If you want proof, you can buy a picture in the gift shop of Pope John Paul riding in a Ferrari.
Nearly 100,000 people make the pilgrimage to Maranello each year.
The city is located in northern Italy just outside Modena, the elite car capital of the world. Lambourgini is up the street. Alfa Romeo is around the corner.
The only thing I knew about Ferraris before I arrived was that “Magnum P.I.” drove one that belonged to a guy named “Robbin Masters,” who, against the advice of “Higgins,” let “Magnum” drive it all the time because he (“Robbin Masters”) was always doing important things that kept him from ever appearing on the show.
But the guy giving me the factory tour must have thought I was some kind of Ferrari expert. I guess he figured America would only send its most experienced automotive writer to cover such an important event as the unveiling of the all-new Formula One gearbox. At least he figured America would send someone who knew what a Formula One gearbox was.
I spent an hour with the guide, walking around the factory and nodding appreciatively at what I hoped were the correct moments to illustrate that I knew exactly what I was looking at. I also threw in the occasional “Of course” and “Naturally” and “Well, that goes without saying.”
Once, after he pointed out a large metal thing that had a “213.3 cubic inch displacement 90 degree V layout,” I told him, in hushed confidence, that it looked like one of the nicest Formula One gearboxes I’d ever seen.
“But it’s not the gearbox,” he pointed out. “It’s the engine.”
“Did I say gearbox? Ha ha ha.”
The factory was very impressive. The floor was clean enough to perform surgery on. Artisans seemed to be working on the upholstery. And there was an entire department of people whose only job was measuring every little nut, bolt and cog that entered the factory to make sure each was exactly the correct size. No one was rushing about, and for good reason: They only make 3,300 Ferraris per year.
The model with the Formula One gearbox (Berlinetta 355F1) has a top speed of 183 mph, and goes from zero to 60 in 4.6 seconds, which is quicker than my old Mazda’s radio can find a channel.
This is all wonderful stuff, if your driveway is the size of a racetrack, but what most guys want to know is how many seconds does it take to get from zero to a beautiful woman in the Ferrari with you. According to the driver’s manual, this requires three seconds of cruising.
Family drivers will want to know how much it costs to get rid of a grape juice stain on the leather back seat of a Ferrari. Good news, folks: There is no back seat.
It was only a two-minute walk to the test track, but Carlo Fiorani, the always-thoughtful media relations executive, suggested we drive over in a blazing red Berlinetta. No objections from me. Carlo signed for the car much like you or I would check a book out of the library.
Once at the track, Carlo took me around slowly, showing me the various features on the car. Mostly, he was teaching me how to work the Formula One gearbox, comprised of two levers on either side of the steering wheel where the windshield wiper and light switches usually are. It seemed almost too easy: You just flipped the one on the right to shift up and the one on the left to shift down. No clutch necessary. In fact, there’s no clutch in this car. It’s a bit like the “push-push” gear shift you find on some mountain bikes, except this one goes a little faster.
Finally, it was my turn to drive and I had this big grin on my face as Carlo handed me the keys. I fastened my seat belt, adjusted my seat and turned the key. Nothing. I’d forgotten to disarm the security system. After a few minutes, I had the car started and revved the engine. Or rather, it sang like a tenor. I flipped the lever to the right of the steering wheel and… started washing the windshield. I smiled at Carlo.
“Just getting used to the Formula One gearbox.”
I pulled out onto the track with a grin so wide it was becoming painful. I pointed the car’s nose down the runway and stomped on the accelerator. I felt my body compress against the leather seat as the car hit 70 mph before the first turn - in second gear. I touched the brake, glided around the turn, and rocketed down the long back curve. I was holding back a bit because the car cost about $155,000 and I had no idea what I was doing. I wasn’t even sure if my driver’s license was still valid.
I did a few laps, getting the car up to about 100 mph (in sixth gear) on the 900-yard straight-away, then pulled into the pit for a break. Carlo had arranged for me to drive with Dario Benuzzi, Ferrari’s chief test driver for the past 20 years.
This was Dario’s back yard, and he had helped design this car. There was probably no one in the world who could get it around the track faster.
My previous experience with G-force in a car was in junior high when Mom would drive me and some friends to soccer practice. As we rounded a turn, we’d all lean to one side in an effort to crush the person sitting on the outside.
Leaning was not necessary with Dario driving. Even with my seat belt securely fastened, my skull was mashed against the passenger window, the head rest, and the windshield - all before my neck muscles had time to react. On the 900-yard stretch we pushed the Ferrari from 40 mph to 140 mph and back down to… well, I’m not sure. I had my eyes covered, thinking we were going to fly off the track. Dario managed to keep the engine above 7,000 revolutions per minute the entire time, even if it meant going into a U-turn at 80 mph. It’s a small miracle I was able to get out of the car with dry pants.
Want a free tour of the Ferrari factory? No problem. All you have to do is own a Ferrari. If you have $155,000 burning a hole in your pocket, now you know what to do with it. Or maybe, as a budget idea, you could just buy a Ferrari the size of a matchbox car. They sell them in the gift shop, for only $200!
The Ferrari licensing people have clearly had a field day. In the Ferrari gift shop, there were Ferrari watches ($3,000), Ferrari golf bags ($1,200), Ferrari silk neck ties ($80), Ferrari red car racing shoes ($200), Ferreri red racing jumpsuits ($200) and $100 leather Ferrari gloves to match your Ferrari’s leather interior! I spotted a bottle of Ferrari cologne. There was even a Ferrari steering wheel. I suppose this was for the guy planning to buy his Ferrari piecemeal; this year the steering wheel, next year a hand brake.
At the end of the day, I realized the worst thing about driving a Ferrari: It’s hard to get back in a normal car. And I couldn’t be too choosy since I was trying to hitchhike out of town.
MEMO: Ferrari’s Web site is lifeofluxury.com/ferrari.html; Ferrari Club of America is at ferrariclubofamerica.org/index.html. The Ferrari Museum in Maranello, Italy, can be reached by telephone at 001-39-536949713.