Between A Rock And A Hard Place

American women overwhelmingly view the changes of the last few years as positive for them personally and for women collectively, a survey reveals. But there’s a devil or two in the details.

Women have traded competence and feelings of being in control for enormous stress, loneliness and unresolved fears.

A survey of 1,000 women commissioned by the Ladies’ Home Journal magazine and conducted by research group DYG Inc., finds that while women would not want to turn back the clock, they recognize the changes come at a steep price.

Seventy-eight percent of the women treasure what they see as increasing workplace opportunity and 58 percent applaud workplace equality (although the wage gap between men and women is widening again).

Eighty-six percent value their ability to express themselves and 68 percent applaud increasing political power.

But four out of five women mourn the declining moral values of children, which they see as a direct result of their greater freedom. Another 75 percent attribute family breakdown to it.

Greater freedom in their own lives also takes a toll. Some 74 percent complain of heightened stress and 66 percent say they’re now lonelier than ever, bereft of camaraderie and connections.

While 84 percent of the women applaud the direction in which things are going and 73 percent are satisfied with the quality of their lives, just 60 percent feel they have life under control, says Myrna Blyth, the magazine’s editor in chief.

While children are women’s greatest joys (followed by their spiritual connectedness), 68 percent contend that they don’t want their daughters to live the life they’ve lived, to suffer the pains they’ve suffered and to “settle” as they have.

And 24 percent claim to be “stressed to the max.”

More dour findings: While many believe a happy marriage is crucial for total fulfillment, 44 percent believe such relationships are few and far between.

Even where things are getting better, progress is painfully slow. About two-thirds of respondents see a positive change in men’s parenting but only half consider men to be full partners in the day-to-day management of their children.

For 76 percent of women, the laundry remains their responsibility. For 73 percent, the cooking is their job. And for 70 percent, the burden of housekeeping falls on them.

Two-thirds say they’re responsible for the shopping and 56 percent for the bill paying.

And while more than half say they’re content with their appearance, 61 percent admit they’re unhappy with their weight. Twenty-six percent worry constantly about their poundage.

Women also worry about the outside world.

Four out of five say the world is a far more dangerous place than when they were young, and 61 percent grieve for a society that is less respectful than in the past.

And they’re anxious about finances. One out of three fears that she will never be able to retire. For all the talk about people wanting more time than money, 62 percent of women say they really need the dough.

Their greatest wish is to feel more confident about their children’s future (86 percent), but amazingly, virtually the same number (85 percent) are troubled and worried about their own financial security.

Despite these findings - and years of hearing about women’s low self-esteem - DYG’s Madelyn Hochstein says we’re seeing the early part of a new optimism.

xxxx