Sentiments Provoke Mixed Reception
The message U.S. bishops sent this month on gays and lesbians was greeted warmly by many gay and lesbian Catholics and their parents.
The bishops encouraged parents to treat their gay and lesbian children with love and compassion, and the prelates made it clear that no parents should choose between their church and their children.
Many parents say it is anguishing trying to reconcile their love for their faith, which considers homosexuality a sin, and love for their children.
While the bishops did not tinker with the Catholic Church’s teaching on gay and lesbian sex, they did make it clear that the church should not discriminate against anyone because of their sexual orientation.
But not everyone was happy about the bishops’ pastoral letter. Some conservative Catholics bristled at the bishops’ assertion that sexual orientation is not a choice.
“The bishops are sanctioning a lifestyle I and many others consider to be sinful,” said Antony Portillo, of Hartford, Conn. Portillo said he has been estranged from his son ever since the 24-year-old told his father he was gay five years ago. “The Bible condemns homosexuals. And I don’t buy the notion that you are born gay.”
Portillo is a member of Encourage, a Catholic ministry active in several dioceses nationwide that tries to help parents who do not approve of homosexuality relate to their gay and lesbian children.
Encourage is an offshoot of Courage, a Vatican-approved program active in about 20 U.S. dioceses that stresses the sinfulness of homosexual acts and urges gay and lesbian Catholics to live chaste lives.
Courage, according to its promotional literature, believes “homosexuality is not the work of God - nor is it usually a person’s choice - it is an aspect of arrested sexual development.”
As the issue of homosexuality continues to roil many Christian denominations, a number of conservative ministries that believe homosexuals can be “converted” into heterosexuals have stepped up their efforts. The Vatican, however, has steered clear of the question of whether sexual orientation is given or chosen.
But in recent years, more and more gay and lesbian Catholics and their parents have been agitating for greater acceptance in a church that has historically been considered hostile to homosexuals.
The bishops’ letter, some gay advocates said, was a blow to more conservative forces within the church.
“I think too many people have been hearing condemnatory messages from ignorant sources,” said Francis DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry, a Maryland-based national organization that promotes improving relations between the church and gay and lesbian Catholics.
Still, some conservative Catholics who believe just being gay or lesbian violates Biblical strictures say they will not be dissuaded by the bishops’ letter.
“I support the idea that you should never discriminate against anyone,” said Marilyn Hennessy of Springfield, Mass., a member of Human Life International, a conservative national Catholic group. Hennessy’s sister is a lesbian. “But I also disagree with their suggestion that we are supposed to somehow condone the homosexual lifestyle. What the bishops should be doing is everything possible to make sure gays and lesbians live the way the church wants them to.”
The bishops’ letter attempts to draw a distinction between condemning homosexual sex - which the Church emphatically opposes - and condemning the homosexual orientation.
One Worcester, Mass.-area priest, who asked that his name not be used, said he would have a difficult time talking about homosexuality from the altar, as the bishops’ letter suggests priests should do.
“The people who come to Mass are fairly conservative, and I’m not sure they would want to hear me talk about it,” said the veteran priest. “It’s one thing for the bishops to talk about this. It’s another for me to stand there on Sunday and talk about it. What good would it be for me to alienate my parishioners? I’m not sure how I can handle this letter in a way that’s going to benefit our parish.”
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