Is Repressed Anger Showing Up In Dreams?

Dear Nancy: I have been having a difficult time in my marriage because my husband is in and out of jail constantly and can’t seem to keep a job. I have an 11-year-old daughter and I work full time as a karate instructor. I fight a lot in my dreams, but this one really bothered me. - Andrea

I’m asleep in my bed when I’m awakened by my daughter’s screams. I look out the window and see a man carrying her down the street. I run after her and start beating him. The police and my husband arrive and are telling me to stop the beating. I can’t stop until a policeman puts a blanket around me. I realize I am naked, and wake up.

Dear Andrea: When we spoke on the phone, you said you have been with your husband since you were 11 years old and now feel that was a mistake. Your daughter’s age is very likely to bring up past memories and feelings about your own life. Are you afraid your daughter will be “carried off” by a young man in the same way?

It’s quite common for repressed hostility to show up in dreams. Have you repressed the anger you feel toward your husband for influencing you as a child and then abandoning you, leaving you totally responsible for your family? You would have to be a saint not to be angry!

Remember, dreams often speak in puns and metaphors. Does it feel like your daughter is getting “carried away” with difficult attitudes or independence?

Taken literally, this dream may be warning you to be on guard. It could be suggesting you tighten security around your house. Perhaps it’s time to change or add locks on your doors, or get a dog to warn you of an intruder.

Police often are helpers and guides in dreams. They let us know we’re not alone, that help is available. Look around for your helpers. Perhaps the police who continually arrest your husband are your allies.

The dream policeman may also represent your own integrity and sense of right and wrong. He stops the fighting and brings you comfort with the blanket.

Finding yourself naked in a dream can be surprising, but most often it just shows us the dream is portraying us as we truly are; there’s no covering up of our emotions or beliefs.

Acknowledging our feelings may be difficult, but when we do, we can make the needed changes. I wish you the best, Andrea.

Tips for readers: Fighting dreams often reflect conflicts in our waking life and usually gives us clues about the area of struggle. If it involves work, often co-workers or other job-related symbols appear in the dream. If the conflict is domestic, symbols or people representing home life will be present.

Quite often dreams illustrate the conflict that is within ourselves. Is there opposition between what you want to do and what you think you should do? You might need to compromise to resolve the inner turmoil.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

, DataTimes MEMO: Nancy Huseby Bloom has studied dreams for 18 years. Dreams may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax, (509) 459-5098. Please send a short summary of the circumstances in your life and include your name, address and phone number. Nancy conducts dream groups on a regular basis. For information, call 455-3450.

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