Ten weeks till Christmas checklist:
1. Vow to simplify.
2. Laugh bitterly about No. 1.
3. Have nightmare about “Christmas Tree Elegance.”
4. Start getting depressed about upcoming Swell Paper stories on holiday depression.
5. Find bed-ridden person who can’t run from your childhood sledding stories.
6. Vow to skip sending cards.
7. Purchase cards.
8. Ignore downsizing rumors.
9. Fight fruitcake phobia.
10. Wait for angel to show you what life would have been like if you hadn’t gotten all those credit cards.
Have gun, will travel: Job descriptions noted on business cards recently sent our way include “Pollen Facility Coordinator,” “Holistic Bicycle Repair,” and “Golf Enhancement Products.”
And the cards trumpeted a couple of fun business names - “The BrickKicker” (home inspection) and “Horse-N-Around” (horse and stock trailers).
Slice answers: Readers came up with a bunch of nominations after we asked what was the area’s most popular keychain doodad. The leading vote-getters were those Tidyman’s discount cards and rings taken from the Carousel.
We heard from three readers who reported having been victims of crimes within a week of moving to Spokane. The incidents included a car’s windows getting smashed, a burglary and a station wagon’s big gas tank being sucked dry by someone with a siphon.
A reader in Otis Orchards said that if you had to know a password to gain access to her neighborhood, it would be “noxious weeds.”
Several callers said no business makes as much noise as the railroad.
And a reader named Don said the next movie made around here will be called “Love Sometimes Maybe.”
In the matter of which five area residents would make for the most interesting poker game, readers’ suggestions tended to be of the “Round up the usual suspects” variety. We blame the question, not the readers. But let’s move on.
There are scarier things than working for a boss who can’t communicate his or her vision: There’s working for a boss whose description of how things ought to be makes you reach for an antacid.
Warm-up question: Who holds the Spokane area’s career record for losing the most contact lenses?
Today’s Slice question: A therapist specializing in the treatment of “Inland Northwest Disorder” would focus on what specific psychological/social problem?
, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Why are you saving those old magazines?