Over The Hill, Moon Shines
Warren Moon has been around so long, when he started playing, the game clock was a sundial. Moon’s so old, his doctor is Ben Casey. On road trips, Moon stays at Leisure World.
Yet at age 40 - his 41st birthday is next month - Moon is still a starting quarterback. This is not just unexpected, it’s unfathomable. For, at 40, my friends, it is easier to be the president of these United States than to be the quarterback of these Seattle Seahawks.
Sure, Bill Clinton gets sideswiped a lot, but I’d rather be hit by Sam Donaldson than Sam Mills any day of the week.
At 40, your body can only sustain so much pain, and Moon absorbs five or 10 hard shots a game, sometimes more. (The Man himself is approaching 40 and knows a tired body’s limits; heck, if I just brush up against somebody on the bus, I call Blue Shield).
When the Seahawks’ John Friesz suffered a broken thumb in the season-opener, Moon took over. The team took a while to adjust to the old man - when Moon calls an audible, he barks out Roman numerals - and now has won three of its past four games. Moon is completing nearly 60 percent of his passes, including most recently a 27-of-40 day for 260 yards against the Oilers.
Moon already has Hall of Fame credentials: His teams have made the playoffs nine of the past 10 years and he’s an eight-time Pro Bowler. He’s fourth in NFL history in pass attempts (6,192), completions (3,628) and yards (45,133), sixth in touchdown passes (260) and third in 300-yard games (48) and 400-yard games (six).
And these mind-numbing numbers don’t even include his 21,228 passing yards during the six years he spent in the Canadian Football League. The NFL does not recognize CFL statistics, partly because of the longer field, partly because of the exchange rate.
But I recognize Moon’s accomplishments and thus will honor him this week by taking his Seahawks, a two-point favorite, at St. Louis.
As always, all picks against the point spread are for recreational purposes only:
Broncos (-5) at Raiders: Many of us like the Broncos very, very much and many of us think they might be Super Bowl-bound, but as a cautionary note, I must remind all of us that the backup-quarterback situation in Denver can be summed up in two short and scary words: Bubby Brister. Pick: Broncos.
Cardinals at Eagles (-8): Somewhere, some day, on some field of dreams, Kevin Butler might get one more chance to shank one more extra point… . Conceding the issue, Eagles have canceled all special teams practices for balance of season. Pick: Cardinals.
Giants at Lions (-7): Here’s the Lions’ season to date: W L W L W L W. Capisce? Spotting trends like this is what allows The Man to sun ‘n’ tan off the Amalfi Coast with the company of his choice each and every summer. Pick: Giants.
Patriots (-3-1/2) at Jets: New Jets regimen: Reveille at 7:30 a.m. sharp, followed by Dunkin Donuts break for coaching staff… . Just a friendly reminder from your Neighborhood Naysayer: Patriots might be 5-1 - but they’re headed for 8-8. Pick: Jets.
Panthers (-4) at Saints: Friends of Chewing Gum, a national consortium against the abuse of chewing gum, has asked Saints coach Mike Ditka to switch to tobacco… . Panthers offense first in NFL to execute a will. Pick: Saints.
Jaguars at Cowboys (-4): Jaguars’ offensive line opening up holes wider than Eric Gregg’s strike zone. … Here’s an idea to entice Cowboys to score more touchdowns: Put a massage parlor in the end zone!!! Pick: Cowboys.
Bills (-2) at Colts: I guess it was when Billy Joe Hobert replaced Todd Collins last Sunday with the Patriots already ahead by 7-0 - and threw a pick on his first play - that I realized Bills plus-9 was not such a good idea. Pick: Colts.
Steelers (-6) at Bengals: More than two-thirds of Bengals players signed a petition declaring they were “tired of working weekends.” Pick: Steelers.
Redskins (-1) at Oilers: To spark attendance, Peyton Manning will throw Frisbees to a speedy border collie at halftime. Pick: Oilers.
49ers (-11) at Falcons: Falcons offense is the hood ornament of the ‘90s: ugly and unnecessary. Pick: 49ers.
Dolphins (-2) at Ravens: If Ravens RB Bam Morris sees a big enough hole, he might run for a long, long time. Pick: Ravens.
Last week: 4-8. Season record: 44-47-3.
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Norman Chad Syndicated columnist